I'm caught up on Empire. Not to take away from all the WTFBBQ moments, for lo there are many, but my favorite detail may be the string ensemble playing White Wedding before Laura was supposed to walk down the aisle.

Oof, that's so horrible, Strix.

Hearing tales like this makes me grateful that I didn't have to deal with that with either of my parents, nor was I primarily responsible for them in their failing health.

My mom died young at age 50 (still boggles me that I'm older than she ever was). And while my Dad was in ill-health for the last three-four years of his life, he was still completely present when I talked to him on the phone two days before he died.

Ps. He is the costume designer

I should have said that!

Thanks, all.

I know that the nursing home is absolutely the right decision for us -- but it still sucks utterly that it is happening.

Also, I'm real damned likely to be at risk for dementia myself, which is terrifying.

That sounds super hard and scary, Strix. Dang.

My day was good--the work part was meh, and then I had to race to the hairdresser. And I'm still not sure about the haircut I got. But then I met up with friends for a drink, and we went to this event at Babeland with free champagne and we amused ourselves looking at various sex toys, and then I went dancing and saw lots of friends. Yay. Only boo was I saw this girl I'm crushing on, at dancing, and she was making out with someone. Boo!

If it feels any better, I'll note that he's still 19 until September. So he's a teenager and not an adult yet.

He should use the Darth Tigger outfit as long as he can get away with it.

Oh Strix. Dementia is so tough on families. I'm sorry.

ION, my dad's dementia has raced ahead, and since he is physically healthy, my mom and sister can't get respite home care through Medicare. So we have made the horrible decision to put him in a nursing home.

Oh, Strix, I'm so sorry. But if he's going into memory care, and he's physically healthy, he can have a pretty good quality of life. They do know how to provide care, and it's not like it was 40 years ago when my mother worked in a nursing home. He will have activities designed for his mental state, and people who understand his condition and aren't hurt when he doesn't recognize him.

Also, the "going home" thing wouldn't even be resolved if he got to the place you think he wants to be at -- because he wouldn't recognize it. When AD patients want to go "home" what's really going on is they want to return to a state of being comfortable and not afraid or confused because of what's going on in their brains. It doesn't have much about geography, I'm afraid. So providing as much physical comfort, and reducing stress and confusion in the environment, will help a lot with that.

He may do much better than you expect, and it will give your mother some welcome respite.

My grandmother, who had Alzheimer's, spent most of her last years on the farm where she'd grown up. The place had changed over 70+ years--new buildings, electricity, plumbing, etc. She kept looking for the privy.

Also, the "going home" thing wouldn't even be resolved if he got to the place you think he wants to be at -- because he wouldn't recognize it. When AD patients want to go "home" what's really going on is they want to return to a state of being comfortable and not afraid or confused because of what's going on in their brains. It doesn't have much about geography, I'm afraid. So providing as much physical comfort, and reducing stress and confusion in the environment, will help a lot with that.

That is so true.

Woke up early, drank too much coffee, did a tiny amount of yard work, now watching old game shows. As one does.

Consuela is wise. ND and I dealt with that with his mom, and my dad's mom (who has been in a very nice nursing home for several years) also struggles with it. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, Strix. Please try to be kind to yourself.