That sounds awful, Drew.

It is discussions like this that make me glad I'm an only child.

Yuuuup.

My mother has been having conflicts with her stepchildren, because last summer they got their father alone for a weekend away and tried to get him to change his will. Now, my mother and stepfather have been a couple for 28 years, and married for, like, 16 (they were pretty shy of marriage based on their divorces but then I got married and inspired them.) So it's not like she is some golddigger come lately. And he's been generous to his kids all along - like, tens of thousands generous. And in the existing will they each get $600,000. And yet this is somehow not enough. I completely do not get it.

My personal philosophy about family money is to expect nothing from anyone, and then anything I may receive will be a pleasant surprise.

It is sad, Drew, but it's not of your making, and kudos to you for walking away from it and embracing all the wonderful things you DO have in your life.

I'm sorry, ND. That's just awful that she has to be that way.

My personal philosophy about family money is to expect nothing from anyone, and then anything I may receive will be a pleasant surprise.

Yeah, mine too. I know my mother probably thinks I should be getting something from my grandfather's death because he gave properties to all his surviving children before he passed, and my father isn't alive to inherit. But I'm not expecting anything.

My personal philosophy about family money is to expect nothing from anyone, and then anything I may receive will be a pleasant surprise.

Mine is the related view that people are more important than things, even things like money.

My 2 closest cousins didn't speak to us for a couple of years after we tried to call them on the shenanigans they were pulling after my aunt died. Times like this just sometimes bring out the ugly in people. Sorry you're having to go through it, Drew. Rising above definitely seems like the right call. Will you be able to maintain a relationship with your niece without involving your sister?

Consuela, Liese, Brenda, much strength and peace.

So now I'm thinking about my grandmother who is still alive, and I think her estate is split between her two sons, which would be kind of a bummer for me, as I'm pretty sure the nursing home/Medicaid would get all of anything my father inherits. I wonder if there's any way to figure that out without being a Terrible Relative?

I was flabbergasted to find out I had an inheritance from my decades-gone grandfather, who'd I'd never even met. I was sure it was a scam, until an actual check showed up.

It is sad, Drew, but it's not of your making, and kudos to you for walking away from it and embracing all the wonderful things you DO have in your life.

This needed to be repeated.

My mom and sister have hired a lawyer specializing in elder care, and one of the things they've done is to put Mom and Dad's house in sister's name.

They could only do it because she has lived there more than...I think a year, might be wrong about that.

This way, if/when we have to put Daddy into a facility, the house can't be used s an asset, and Mom will never have worry about losing the house.

Daddy's Alzheimers is progressing rapidly, and I am totally down with this move. The wills might need to be changed, too, as she was getting 60% of the estate, and 40% to me. But the parents have helped me out financially more than her, and she, living with the parents, has taken up more responsibility for home care for Dad.

I think this is very fair, given the particulars of our family situation.

I'm very thankful that mom and dad set up their estate, down to funeral planning, a couple of years ago. And that my sister and I are in total agreement about the allocation of things.