You need the rest of your house to help with the housework.

Yeah, Gud that is a ton to get done. Take care.

Honey, that's a LOT. and I say that as the only person responsible in my household (because I'm the only person) and the walls haven't caved in.

Well, OK, I am missing ceilings and shit, but that's unrelated.

I say this with love, your self perception is miscalibrated. Your instrumentation needs recalibration, cause it's reading out lies.

Gud, my 14 year old does all his own laundry. I only do laundry on the weekends and when I clean I mostly do it weekends also. Week nights is get dinner, clear dishes, maybe get lunch ready for next day, watch tv or read and go to bed.

all I've done is work, cook dinner, two loads of dishes, tidied up the kitchen, taken out garbage, a load of laundry, and cleaned a toilet.

It is the "all I've done" part that doesn't make sense here. That is a lot. I hope you can prioritize talking to a therapist. You ask too much of yourself. Don't expect more from yourself than you would from others.

I'm not saying my household's division of chores was perfect, but it worked for us pretty much. 4 people - we each always did our own laundry since the boys were tall enough to turn the nobs. Laundry not rocket science. One person cooked meals, with help from a kid most times, and one person cleaned up, with help from a kid.

I've probably taken out the trash more since I am an early person and it works out that way. One of others has to drag back the bins after.

Since DH and I both work such stupid long hours we have always had cleaning help because it just isn't possible to keep up with the floors and bathrooms. But every person has to participate in keeping up with their own debris fields.

I mean it's already 9:30 here and all I've done is work, cook dinner, two loads of dishes, tidied up the kitchen, taken out garbage, a load of laundry, and cleaned a toilet.

As a contrast, it's already 8:30 here and all I've done is commute 3 hours back and forth to work, work 10 hours, cook dinner and clean up afterward, and vacuum. And I'm feeling pretty good about it.

I may even go so far as emptying the dishwasher, but that's probably not gonna happen tonight.

I mean it's already 9:30 here and all I've done is work, cook dinner, two loads of dishes, tidied up the kitchen, taken out garbage, a load of laundry, and cleaned a toilet.

As a contrast, it's already 8:30 here and all I've done is commute 3 hours back and forth to work, work 10 hours, cook dinner and clean up afterward, and vacuum. And I'm feeling pretty good about it.

I worked, washed a (small) load of dishes, and made dinner (and by "made dinner" I mean cooked a pot of spaghetti and told Tim to figure out what he wanted on it while I ate mine plain). t edit Okay, and worked out. I forgot about that. No shower, though, because come on. I'm not a WIZARD.

Look, when there are 2 adults in a household, and the 2 adults agree that certain things need to get done (i.e., chores, cooking food, etc.), then the 2 adults need to split those chores equitably based on other factors (workload [as in employment work], illness, other commitments like an ill parent, taking care of kids). And if those chores can't get done by the 2 people, then they need to either (1) face the fact they have to accept that some chores won't get done in the timeframe they would like, and/or (2) hire help (if financially feasible).

What doesn't get to happen is one person shouldering the whole load and then berating themself when not everything gets done. That's not how a household works.

Hah. I have no commute. Today I worked, made dinner, and went to the gym for 30 minutes. I haven't even crossed "catch up on TiVo" off my list. Eh, it's Monday and I was supposed to be on a work trip that got canceled last minute.

Ugh. I'm sounding like a tough-love hardass, and I don't mean to. Gud, I'm just concerned based on your posts in the past month or two. You sound like you're really burning out, and like everybody else here, I just want you to take care of yourself. I'm glad to hear you talked to a therapist. I hope it can be a helpful tool for you.

Congratulations Sheryl & Gary! Give the lucky little guy an extra hug and tell him it is from Buffistas.

What Laura said! Joy unto your house, Sheryl. Congratulations.

I'm just concerned based on your posts in the past month or two. You sound like you're really burning out, and like everybody else here, I just want you to take care of yourself.

What Steph and everyone else has said, Gud. Self care IS family care.

As you take care of yourself, you teach your children how to correct their own courses as well. It's right up there with the most important lessons you can teach kids.

With the extra added bonus that you can can sustain your enjoyment of THEM when you have perspective on your internal process.