Congrats to Sheryl and family!

And Gud, please be kind with yourself. Time with your kids is time well spent.

I'm not sure why you feel watching the movie was a mistake but it wasn't.

Therapy can help with this. If I said the things I say to myself to other people...as frequently as I say them to myself... I'd be labelled as emotionally abusive. But it's to myself.

And it's cruel horrible things. There's a part of me that can take the tiniest thing and turn it into a cudgel to beat myself down.

For example I moved to a twisty windy mountain road. I was scared of driving up and down it. I worked on coping skills and I finally got to the point where I could go up or down with no second thought - at night! In the Rain!

I was like "this is great, it's a small step and I had so much anxiety over it but I did this. I can build on this for other things." And then The Voice chimed in, full of contempt and distaste and bile, "You drove down a mountain. Like that's anything to be proud of. People do it all the time. Older than you, younger. And you think this is anything to be proud of? Only a lazy selfish bitch could be proud of nothing." (or something like that but it's pretty close).

If that had been a person in my car I would have slammed the brakes and tossed them out. But it wasn't. It was me. So I went to therapy (I was heading there anyway). I do solo therapy and group therapy. It's the closest I can get to tossing that abusive voice out of my life.

To sum up - be kind to yourself. You aren't the only one who struggles with this.

Congratulations Sheryl & Gary! Give the lucky little guy an extra hug and tell him it is from Buffistas.

{{Gud}} What they all said. I don't want to pile on, but you need to be easier on yourself. It is not beneficial to hold yourself to a higher standard than you do the rest of the human race. Now that my kids are in their 20s, I know there were times when I should have made the choice to watch a movie with them. All the stuff that I thought was important like house chores or work crap, doesn't matter so much. Happy memories of times spent together are much more valuable.

Thanks all!

Congratulations, Sheryl!!!

Congratulations, Sheryl and family!

Traffic actually isn't bad this evening, so now I feel like I probably should cook something when I get home rather than eat leftovers.

What do I want? So many choices.

Congratulations, Sheryl! That's awesome!

Gud, what everybody's said, especially Steph. I wish you could see yourself the way we all see you.

Congrats, Sheryl & fam! Gud, listen to them.

Omg, I am so mentally wiped and all it is is massive cleaning ahead and massive phone calling contractors and HOLES EVERYWHERE. Pumpkin jumped in one and made it into the rafters. I can't even. So much dust, so much adulting.

Spending another day next door. And showering. Second floor won't get water until tomorrow.

Congrats, Sheryl!!

I did talk with a therapist today, but there wasn't time to really get anywhere helpful. Everything seems so hopeless right now and there's always so much I need to do and I'm so slow. I mean it's already 9:30 here and all I've done is work, cook dinner, two loads of dishes, tidied up the kitchen, taken out garbage, a load of laundry, and cleaned a toilet. I still have a bunch to do and I'm already starting to get tired.