Liese, wishing you a clear path.
My mom recently said that she always thought she didn't handle uncertainty, or the ground shifting below her feet constantly, well (and I'd have agreed with her) but that when it was thrust upon her with no out, (caring for my aunt in the hospital) she discovered she could handle it well and learned a lot else about herself and it was oddly liberating.
I mean, I get it. I don't like uncertainty or disruption, I love my ruts, but I've purposely thrown myself into it despite its discomfort (haaaates it) and I've always discovered something in myself from it. Sometimes it's been where to set my own limits after I've passed them, but mostly that my limits are way further out than I'd thought.