No shame, JZ. Except perhaps for earworming me with A Chorus Line. But peace to her and to you.

Relief is a perfect cromulent feeling under the circumstances, JZ. You are only beholden to your own needs here, not her family's.

Burrell, a good friend has just started at your Uni. I am so excited to have them in LA, because we think we may see them more often now.

Groovy! What department?

My mother used to keep a bottle of dry vermouth around just for that reason. Somehow, I just never picked up the habit, but I think I need to. I rarely have white wines in the house and when they are they are usually semi-sweet/dry; I don't like really dry wines.

If you tend to have sweeter wines on hand, they work well for cooking. Dry vermouth is not dry like a dry white wine is dry, it's just not as sweet as a sweet vermouth. But then I never got down wine nomenclature.

My mother used to keep a bottle of dry vermouth around just for that reason. Somehow, I just never picked up the habit, but I think I need to. I rarely have white wines in the house and when they are they are usually semi-sweet/dry; I don't like really dry wines.

There are manifold benefits. You don't have to open a bottle that you either don't want to drink, or DO want to drink and don't want to waste cooking. Plus you go through the vermouth faster so it's more likely to be reasonably fresh when you need it for a cocktail.

ION, I have a date this evening with Anna and I'm currently working to solve an issue for our client's Malaysia office. I'm slightly paranoid I'll be late for our date, so I'm working my ass off on this problem.

Groovy! What department?

Law. Once upon a time, he and I started at UCB within a couple weeks of each other, knowing no one, but we had a mutual friend. The DH and I ended up watching Buffy, and then Angel with them every week.

7 hours until vacation!

Connie, I hope you have a good time!

You people are the best. Thank you so much.

Oh no, Kat. I hope Grace is feeling better soon.

JZ, no shame in only feeling relief. Life and death are the nature of things. We can't stop it. And it doesn't make you a bad person for not feeling bad about it. I hope she finds the peace she was evidently never able to find in this life.

Connie, have a wonderful time! I'll be thinking about you this weekend. Escaping was a great way to deal with that particular first.

Have a good time, Connnie! Relax, eat yummy food, get a little drunk.

JZ, look, you're one of the kindest, most thoughtful and compassionate people I know. It's OK to feel relief that a this person who was so horrific and virulent and cruel is gone. And it's OK to feel anger and intense dislike still.

But your quandary is that you ARE kind, ARE compassionate, and you feel conflicted about forgiveness and lovingkindness -- and shame about actually feeling relief.

It's new -- just dug up a lot of intense feelz, I believe, so it'll take a while, but it'll pass from relief to dislike, to a occasional memory, and eventually a shrug, and a "What an evil bitch, man. But, eh, whatevs."

In (not so) short: feeling relief = ain't no shame in that game.

You'd be a freakin' saint or a hypocrite to be all "Oh, I can forgive her now, now that she's no longer with us."

I don't go to Vegas till Tuesday, so I'll spend the time figuring out what to take and bracing myself to try on my swimsuit.