At first, with the kiss scene, I thought that Ed was a step or two ahead of Stede in terms of knowing himself and knowing what he wants. And in some specific ways he is: the idea of being with a man isn't new to him, like it is to Stede, even though he's never actually *loved* a man before (or anyone, except his mother?), so he understands the nature of their relationship better than Stede does.

Yes, and yes, and I also got the very strong sense that the loving part of the equation was totally new to him. Men at sea fucking around, yeah, totally, but loving and being loved? He knows the mechanics of the acts involved, but everything beyond the mechanics reads as completely, wondrously, terrifyingly new to him (and I am 100% convinced that his "dalliances" with Calico Jack in particular were totally just mutual getting-off, because Jack sucks and also would have to do some serious personal growth to even come close to the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone).

But by the end of the scene, we can tell that he's actually missing some pieces of the puzzle, maybe the biggest one being that he doesn't clock Stede's discomfort, his hesitation and uncertainty about this plan to run off together.

On reflection, going back over all the events of that episode, I almost think that, discomfort and hesitation and all, Stede might possibly have still gone to meet Ed (maybe talking him into a very quick side trip to make some amends to Mary and the children, because that unfinished business was weighing on him) if he hadn't been abducted and then totally retraumatized by Chauncey Badminton, who hit him with every fear and doubt he'd ever had about himself, then accused him not of saving Ed but of bringing Blackbeard to ruin, and then went and blew his own head off. Humph. Stede a ruiner! The goddamn Badminton twins were NOTHING but ruin.

But I still suspect, because Ed has conveniently avoided all the real work, that even if Chauncey had just drunk himself to sleep that night and Stede and Ed had made their escape together it would still have led to total emotional chaos at some point, because being alone together several oceans away from anything familiar, with absolutely no emotional resources and nothing in the world to hold onto and depend on but this one other person, would have led to catastrophe. This is still catastrophic, but it feels maybe-kinda-possibly reparable and redemptive.

And Ed *loves* this about him. He’s been dying to talk to someone with a little fucking imagination, and here comes Stede Bonnet, who’s bursting at the seams with it.

Oh my gosh yes! They remind me a little of characters like Petruchio and Katherina, or Charlie and Roxanne (and Cyrano, but not so much Roxanne in the original), or Johnny Case and Linda Seton in Holiday--all the characters and journeys and romances are very, very different, but what they do all have in common is having spent a lifetime being not only the smartest one in the room but the weirdest. At the point when they collide with each other, they've spent most of their lives essentially alone even in one crowded room after another; some of them have given up and suppressed it, others are seething with rage or lost in despair over it, others are burying themselves in academia where the smartest one in the room is always welcome.

And then they all collide, and whether they can't stand each other or they love each other but need some time to recognize it as love, they're all astounded and exhilarated to run into someone as smart and as weird as they are.

and yet... he abandoned his actual children. That's a hard thing to reconcile, for me. I hope he does eventually manage to build a relationship with them. You can see them approaching reconciliation in episode 10, but then he leaves again, and it just makes me sad for his children that they don't get to enjoy that part of him.

That is so hard and uncomfortable. But I did feel like his return and reconciliation was important, and it was also important to him to recognize that Mary had found a partner who could not only be the support to her that he never could but who was clearly already an active, positive force in the children's lives. I hope that the reconciliation between him and his children somehow continues, and that they somehow manage to see each other again, but I can also understand why he felt, at this moment, that it was best and healthiest to step all the way back and let them keep building their new lives and new family.

I almost think that, discomfort and hesitation and all, Stede might possibly have still gone to meet Ed (maybe talking him into a very quick side trip to make some amends to Mary and the children, because that unfinished business was weighing on him) if he hadn't been abducted and then totally retraumatized by Chauncey Badminton

I do think he was planning to escape with Ed. That "Yes" on the beach was real, and even in his discomfort, I don't think Stede would have lied to Ed. He wasn't crazy about the plan, but he was willing to give it a shot because Ed was so keen on it.

And yeah, it would absolutely have gone down in flames.

Here's something else I keep thinking about, re: these themes of identity and self-knowledge: In two of the most important moments of their relationship, Ed distances himself from his own name, his own identity. When he first meets Stede, and Stede asks him, "Do you work for Blackbeard?" Ed takes a moment to think, then says, "Yeah, I suppose I do work for Blackbeard." Which makes the viewer see Blackbeard as the persona and Ed as the real man underneath. But then on the beach, even in a very emotionally intimate moment, he's talking about himself in the third person: "I just wanna do what makes Ed happy." Not "what makes *me* happy." So who is Ed, then? Is Ed a persona too?

Also, here is a really lovely new interview with David Jenkins: [link]

(I swear, I think I might feel more normal about this show if we knew it was getting a season 2, but I just can't deal with the idea that the story might just end here!)

(I swear, I think I might feel more normal about this show if we knew it was getting a season 2, but I just can't deal with the idea that the story might just end here!)

I can't even let myself consider that--though, honestly, it's gaining such momentum that I can't imagine HBO won't want a season 2. I just wish they would order the damn thing already.

And, oh, that interview was beautiful.

Oh, that interview is great - so many shows at some point seem like the creators don’t even know what is actually good about them and here he can articulate so much if that, and does! So refreshing.

so many shows at some point seem like the creators don’t even know what is actually good about them and here he can articulate so much if that, and does!

YES.

I finally convinced Ethan to give the show another chance (he'd seen the first two or three eps ages ago via the press screeners) so we're rewatching from the beginning, and knowing where it ends up puts the awkwardness of those first few eps in such a better context. I love watching the crew gradually warm up to the idea that they're okay with being in a fun pirate romcom instead of the gritty grimdark pirate action movie they thought they'd signed on for. (They don't fully cross over into Stede's genre until the lighthouse scene when it's clear that Blackbeard is into it, which gives the rest of them permission to admit they're into it too, and from then on the comedy works SO MUCH BETTER because EVERYONE is finally on the same page about what genre they're in. Except poor Izzy, who will hang onto being a Gritty Grimdark Pirate with his dying breath because everyone else is Doing Piracy Wrong.)

I love watching the crew gradually warm up to the idea that they're okay with being in a fun pirate romcom instead of the gritty grimdark pirate action movie they thought they'd signed on for. (They don't fully cross over into Stede's genre until the lighthouse scene when it's clear that Blackbeard is into it, which gives the rest of them permission to admit they're into it too, and from then on the comedy works SO MUCH BETTER because EVERYONE is finally on the same page about what genre they're in.

Oh gosh yes. Though Oluwande was definitely prime to flip right from the start--we know absolutely nothing about his backstory, but he's clearly been at it for a while and he seems very aware from the beginning that this might not be a normal gig, but as piracy goes it's an easy gig, and he appreciates that and is cautiously willing to just follow it and see where it goes. Lucius, too.

Except poor Izzy, who will hang onto being a Gritty Grimdark Pirate with his dying breath because everyone else is Doing Piracy Wrong.)

OMG yes. Even worse, it's wrong but it keeps working anyway. How dare they! HOW DARE ANY OF THEM. He's spent his entire life torturing himself into becoming an excruciatingly stellar example of gritty grimdark, and that twat and his band of stupidly loyal, happy imbeciles are undermining the very core of Izzy's identity.

Oluwande was definitely prime to flip right from the start--we know absolutely nothing about his backstory, but he's clearly been at it for a while and he seems very aware from the beginning that this might not be a normal gig, but as piracy goes it's an easy gig, and he appreciates that and is cautiously willing to just follow it and see where it goes. Lucius, too.

Oh my two most precious cinnamon rolls and the way they try to protect Stede's little bubble of happy weirdness for him. I love them so much.

And the more space they make for his weirdness, the more freedom the entire crew finds for their own, which is considerable and joyful. Win/win/win/win/win/win/win.