I think LAistas will be needed, if you can, to help ita's family when they get here. They're looking for flights/hotel to come and take care of her, but they will need help sorting ita's belongings and getting around, I would think. The coroner and courthouse are Downtown, and ita's place is West LA, and the traffic between the two is insane. If it's possible, I would like to put together a small contact list of people who can help them if they need to get someplace or navigate bureaucracy.

Allyson, count Drew and me in on this. And if they need a place to stay and can handle pets, we have a guest room. My ability to transport will largely be restricted to weekends and later afternoons, but I'm here.

And thank you so much for sharing the details of what must be impossibly difficult to remember. As tiggy said, thank you for doing what needed to be done, and I'm so sorry you had to do it.

Kiba Rika, I'm so glad to see you here. Locals are having a drink in ita's honor on Thursday, and I'd love it if you can make it.

"Vernor's is NOT ginger ALE. It is ginger SODA."

Stupid as it is, it was one of the things that always cracked me up and, to this day, when someone calls Vernor's ginger ale, I get shirty with them about it. Because ita.

I've been largely absent for the past year or so, but I would lurk to see if she had posted anything and how her pain was doing and if she'd found any relief.

This wasn't the relief I was looking for. Nor she, I would reckon.

When I saw Colin at the Chicago ComiCon a couple of summers ago, he signed his picture to me to "kick ita in the shins the next time I saw her."

It's been hard to keep my shit together in front of 27 first graders. Mostly, I pretended they were all of you and have been hugging them all afternoon.

The other thing I remember the most is her "It's Not My Birthday - I Just Like Baking" shebang she would hold every year at this time. And how she seemed to revel in tricking people who thought her spice cake was chocolate and the look on their faces when they took that first bite. That goddamned spice cake.

she was just like, it is a T, that is how you say a T how could it be more correct or less weird to pronounce it as another letter.

Yes, she was so fucking specific about her name. I think I dreaded being called out if I capitalized it to begin a sentence. No one more relentless!

It's really nice to read her impact elsewhere. I fear her being forgotten, or her pain not being worth it in some way. I think about talking recently about migraine cures being a year away: that gave her no comfort, it was too long. It was.

I can't make it real or unreal. It is frustratingly liminal. But at least unlike something that happens to someone else there is a way to keep engaging with other people feeling the same way. In lieu of having a purpose I keep refreshing here and FB, it is a distraction from the terrible knowledge that this is so unjust.

I can't bear the thought of losing one's child after a decade of increasing pain.

Oh yes, what amych said. We are meeting at Fullsteam in Durham. I can't remember if you live close to Durham these days, but we'd love to have you join us.

Raq, you made me laugh on a day when laughing is pretty spare. Her links. God. It was her terrible links that made me hover and check before clicking.

Skipping to the end to put the link to the beginning of sad discussion in the Natter thread (people may arrive here later, and may want to follow the whole of the discussion): Kristen "Natter 73: Chuck Norris only wishes he could Natter" Jan 12, 2015 11:54:05 pm PST

I wish I still lived in Durham! I'll be raising a glass with you all in spirit.

Yes bonbon! Specific. She was so specific in almost everything. The type of silver earring she liked, her breakfast cereal, haircut.

I can't make it real or unreal. It is frustratingly liminal.

Yeah, this.

I'm going to be in LA for NAMM in a week and a half or so, so if there's anything I can do during my short stay, I am also available.