Head full of ita today...
ita's thread
A place where we can talk about ita, miss ita, and share information about memorials. The hugging started over here in Natter.
It has occurred to me that I read/lurk here about once a week. Yesterday was one of those days. And then I came across ita, Ginger, and omnis' posts. And then it occurred to me that while trying unintentionally to block out the thought about their deaths, not remembering it in my daily life while being an adult with life stuff, I am also blocking out the unbelievable amounts of love and intention they poured into this place.
And I think I might be disservicing their memory and myself with this attitude. It hurts, but I would like to remember them much more often.
Love never dies. I believe this with all my heart and soul. It may change, but it does not die.
Went to my second krav class yesterday. We practiced defending against bear hugs; I now have a bruise the diameter of a golfball working it's way to the surface of my forearm and a welt on my neck that kind of looks like a hickey. Talking to the instructor afterwards in the locker room, she told me she appreciated my aggression.
I hope I can find a way to keep doing krav. I wish ita were here to talk to about it.
♥
My emotions!
she told me she appreciated my aggression.
The most Krav sentiment!
If I could do that, somebody could get really hurt. Got years worth of...upset just like "Give me a reason," even though I do understand that's not the way martial arts are supposed to be.
even though I do understand that's not the way martial arts are supposed to be.
Well...ita really loved kicking guys in the crotch. As a teachable moment.
When we were cleaning out ita's apartment, I grabbed her Frodo plushie doll because... I don't know, I suppose because it spoke to me. He usually hangs out in my bedroom, and I often touch him as I get ready for bed.
Yesterday, Frodo migrated to the den, where I found him on the floor. Hmm? Oh well, I picked him up and put him back.
Just now? Neville came into the room where I am grading, dragging poor Frodo in his mouth. Plop. There he was sitting, eyes expectant, and poor Frodo lying next to him, looking forlorn, and maybe even a bit accusatory at me. So of course I picked him up and dusted him off and discovered that Neville has been nursing on poor Frodo's fuzzy head.
Sorry about that, ita.