I totally get that.
Clearly, I was not close to ita...though I wish I had been...but I still have moments of sadness and a sense of profound loss.
All I can say to myself, and to you, is that embracing the gift can fill you up as much, or more than the denial of the loss.
Not to compare the two, by any means, but a neighbor I've howdied at for a couple of decades, pointed at Cagney the other day and called him Bartleby. For maybe the first time, I was able to smile first and say, Thank you for remembering him, but...
I loved that my first thought, when I messed up a link the yesterday, was that ita would have side-eyed me to shreds. It made me smile because I KNOW NOW ita! Thanks to you, I am so much better about that sort of thing.
Does that mean her talent lives on in me? I'd kinda like to think so.
"We're all fragile. Even the dinosaurs bit it. What can you be in between your beginning and your end, is the question."
Wanted to read it again. Thank you.
Perfect. Thank you Tep. There are more hands than yours setting the lantern afloat, you know? Even if we're not there in person.
ita had 2 lanterns: I made one with photos because I am bad at making my own decorative art, and Casper and Dillo decorated one, including a drawing of ita doing martial arts and many fireflies.
Here's a link to a Flickr album with photos of all 4 sides of both lanterns, and the lanterns on the lake: [link] (in case anyone wasn't familiar with Flickr, you can click on the photos to see them larger).
I kept taking photos, trying to follow ita's lanterns as they went out onto the lake, and in this one, you can see her lantern is just right of center; it's the one with 2 photos on it: [link]
It was really a lovely ceremony, and we all were amused that ita would have appreciated the kilted man playing bagpipes as the lanterns were set on the water.
Oh man, that brought on the tears. Thank you, Steph, flea, and Hil, for doing that for her.
I have one small regret. People could put their loved one's name on a list read over the PA as the lanterns were launched. I didn't do it because I thought they might mispronounce her name.
Only belatedly did I realize that I really, REALLY wanted to give them the name "ita Moon."
So beautiful, so perfect.
Thank you guys for doing this. The pictures are wonderful. As long as we all remember her, she still lives in us.
