That's wonderful, Windi.

I finally bought some Black Honey lipstick. It's wonderful, of course. Now I wear it and think her beautiful smile.

Clearing out a desk drawer, and found a Hello Kitty note from ita. Can't toss it. It's tucked into my planner cover right now.

I keep stumbling over her in my mind or in the threads.

I was letting my mind wander at work and started thinking about the show Highlander, and suddenly remember her love for Methos.

Or finally watching my Game of Thrones Season 4 DVDs and going into Premium to see what everyone said and there she is.

I saw a very snarky plot recap of Supernatural and thought that ita would laugh at it. Le sigh, le sob.

If she is in the internet, she is, probably. We got that Jamaican take-out again. SO awesome. I need to put up the pic of me and Ting...you know...Chica Ting.

I have to admit, my form of dealing is I get angry at y'all for the memories or whatever. I'm... Not sharing, All on me, not you. But Sunday, walking the lake, theme from The Unit came up on the rando nano, and I fucking hated that device. And then I laughed.

I

I wore the Black Honey to a very important meeting yesterday and felt really confident.

I used to have a tube years ago. I think it wore down and I just never replaced it. I'm thinking I really need to do that.

I just found out about ita, and I wanted to post how sorry I am for this loss to her family, to her friends, and to this board.

I feel incredibly guilty about missing this sad news 3 months ago, and I keep telling myself that I shouldn't feel guilty, yet it's a big deal that she died, and she was an amazing person, and how did Nilly's email to me just get caught up in a folder unread for so long?

See, I have about six primary email addresses. One is my personal address, one is my work address, one is for a non-profit I'm heavily involved with, one is for a side business I'm trying to get off the ground, one is a grad student address for courses I was taking until recently, and finally, I have the wolframlaw email in my profile here which is kind of my creative side's email address, for fandom and writing groups. All my email addresses go directly into different filters folders.

A couple of years ago my creative side slipped. I stopped writing and participating in fandom on almost any level. As a result, I only checked my wolfram folder sporadically. Most recently, 6 months had gone by before I went back in to clean out messages last night. That's when I saw Nilly's email with a link to a January 13th Natter thread.

I spent two hours last night reading natter and then this thread, my eyes tearing up several times, but it just reminded me how amazing you all are, and were for me at a time when I needed you. I am so touched that Nilly included me as part of the Buffistas family (even in absentia). Thank you. And I know that without ita, there wouldn't be a Buffistas family, and I am so grateful to her and hope she's at peace and happy now.

I am also sorry for being a stranger. You all inspire me, and I could use that kind of inspiration in my life. Again, thanks.