I don't have a plausible explanation for coworkers as to where I have been for a month. Advice?

You were Clooney's wedding planner.

Or... give each person a different story drawn from episodes of Alias.

oooh! Or say "Two words. Duane Barry."

I don't have a plausible explanation for coworkers as to where I have been for a month. Advice?

Alien abduction. They can't prove it didn't happen! Seriously, you don't have to say anything more than, "had a medical thing, I'm better now, thanks for asking!" Some people really want more details than they're entitled to, but most people just want to know you're all right.

I'll ask my roommate, who was off for three months for depression treatment, how she handled queries -- she works at an MIT library, so the social situation is much like Allyson's.

Started off my day with two shots (Hep A and flu), but then there were donuts at the office! So that's nice.

I had scheduled what I thought was a call with someone in New York, but I guess he thought I was there, too, because he emailed suggested we meet at the Bouchon bakery. I would love to meet there! But [sadface] no.

Allyson, I'd agree with the others. Just make a vague statement about health problems, medical thing, personal emergency. My response to that would be, "I hope you're feeling better," in a tone of voice intended to convey that (1) I accept your explanation, and I'm not asking for more info, but also (b) I want you to know that I wish you well.

I'd save the wilder stories for the nosy types. And maybe for people that I'd feel comfortable enough to joke with -- which are people that I'd be willing to share details with, and probably know at least something already.

Tell them you were raptured but it didn't take.

Or probably what Fred said.

What's your employee status with these guys - freelance contract? Hourly?

Not that I know how that affects what you should say to them, but it probably does.

I think it is always okay to say something like "I know this is a temporary situation and i am trying to keep up with the extra work load but it is just too much, we need to make some kind of adjustment.

ETA: I can delete if you want.

I suck at unplanned (I'd thought I needed to take a day next week until yesterday) days off. Woke up in a panic just before 5, groggily realized unnecessary, turned off alarms, crawled back into bed and proceeded to double my sleep time. And it is too early for tulips. So now I have no plan.

Tell them you were raptured but it didn't take.

That would be fun in the Bible Belt. Then you could look uneasy and say, "What, you didn't go? You weren't taken up? Um, never mind then."