Then there was the actuary I used to work with who told us that we should redesign our website "to make it easier for clients to get their hands on our tools". On no other day has my professionalism been tested as it was then.

Hah! Oh dear. My box. Hands on our tools. They probably just accuse you Of having a dirty mind.

I got plenty of sleep, in theory, but it was very "I have a cold and can't breathe and keep waking up with a dry mouth" sleep. Grr. But I suppose I should be glad it came to this on a week when I'm in town and not traveling.

Hah! Oh dear. My box. Hands on our tools. They probably just accuse you Of having a dirty mind.

They may with some justification have accused me of suddenly developing an elaborate coughing fit.

He was just so earnest about it, you know? Like this was the one thing that had been missing from the firm until now.

One year one of our corporate goals was to delight our customers. I told my supervisor I needed to get paid extra to delight customers, and he was just baffled and suspected he should be annoyed with me.

Oh dear. Now I can't stop laughing!

Maybe I could just arrange for her to see the CSI episode on furries? Or show her the fetish map and she if she understands toy boats?

Dear Self

I told you to remember you had to buy gas this morning. Don't you ever listen?

Signed, Did Not Run Out Of Gas But Was Not On Time to Work

After I got my mom watching Buffy, she and my stepdad started using the word "Bugger!" as a general expression of exaggerated annoyance (like if some minor inconvenience happened, they would say "Oh, bugger!"). One day I was over there, and some little thing happened (like the pizza place we wanted to order from was closed), and my mom said "Oh, bugger!", which my stepdad repeated, and they gleefully cackled at using their new word. Finally I said, "Just to be clear, because I don't want you to use the word in front of the wrong person...you DO know what 'bugger' means, RIGHT?"

They didn't. They just thought it was funny because Spike said it. So I filled them in, and their reaction was pretty much "We've been saying WHAT?!?"

I enjoyed that a little too much.

I enjoyed that a little too much.

Now I think we all enjoyed that a little too much.

I took to using that because no one I knew had the least idea of Britishisms. Then a new co-worker turned out to have lived in England for several years. Everyone else was very confused about why she was horrified and I was apologetic.

I always enjoy the gigantic signs at the lawn business next to the freeway that say SOD! I wonder what tourists think as they come around that curve.

We joke about being 12 ... but when you're dealing with ACTUAL 12-year-olds ... well, watch what you say/write.