Have you talked to Tim about it? As long as he gets it and supports you, fuck it.
I've mentioned it to him. And he gets it (the safety thing actually freaked him out, too), and will support whatever I decide, but when I said "I feel like I'm stuck doing this forever because if I leave it reflects badly on you," he said, "Yeah, that sucks." And I wasn't sure if it was a "Your situation sucks, so do what you need to do," or a "Yeah, it does reflect badly on me, so you're stuck doing this forever, which sucks."
I, uh, could use my words and ask him to clarify, huh? (But I'm pretty damn sure he doesn't care if my need to quit reflects on him.)
I know he'll support whatever I decide. I just feel like a jerk trying to leave. Which makes me the ideal volunteer -- I'll NEVER leave because of guilt!
I'm willing to stick it out through this next year (meetings start this month and go through May 2015 [also, there are no meetings in November and December, so there are only 7 meetings in a year]), because advance notice would give them enough time to find a replacement.
Question: On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being "I'd rather eat my own eyeballs," how miserable is doing this making you?
I'm willing to stick it out through this next year (meetings start this month and go through May 2015
Well, that's a lot of time for them to find someone else! Very generous of you.
My dad is the same way, feeling like he has to volunteer for stuff and then can't quit doing it. But it's not up to you (or him) to make sure this stuff gets done. The organization has to figure that out at some point. And if they have to do without that service for a little while, that is not the end of the world.
The safety issue needs to be addressed. That is not okay.
7-8 is "dump it now" territory.
edit: well, dump it with courteous, unspecific apologies. 9-10 is "leave quickly and stay not on the order of your going."
In that case, say you'll do the September and October meetings, which gives them four months to con someone else into doing it.
And if they can't find a replacement, then they won't be able to have a library for the members.
Life is too short for this shit! It sounds like a job for someone who is passionate about hectoring people, i.e., the chair. The books don't appear important enough for you (or anyone) to stress over, given people feel free to fail to return them. Point them to Amazon's excellent used book prices and moonwalk outta there.
If they're not taking your safety concerns seriously, there's no earthly reason why you should continue to support their library, Steph. And I'm speaking as someone who considers libraries about as holy as any formal place of worship you could name. This isn't reflecting badly on Tim; it's reflecting badly on an organization that doesn't respect the safety concerns of its volunteers.
They're all concerned (or reacted with what seemed like concerned faces), but the best suggestion was "Get mace and an air horn."
Now, admittedly, I certainly have no intention of getting a .22 and a conceal-carry license. But I don't feel any safer with mace and an air horn than I did before. We can't lock the doors because people show up late all the time. I mean, we could lock the doors, but I would have to get up and let them in. And I don't recognize all the members, so it could be a member or it could be a sketchy person off the street, but I don't know. If I refuse to let a member in because I don't recognize them, people will be pissed. (And there is no way to enforce people with ADD showing up on time. EVER. One of our own board members shows up 90 minutes late every month. And then usually stays out at the library table talking to me, where I'm trapped and can't leave.)
And yeah, some people do just wander in off the street. There was a particularly freaky incident with a woman yelling about how she needed the pastor (we meet at a church after hours). I tried to calm her down and said we were just a group that meets there, not part of the church, but I'd call the pastor for her if she could give me his number, and she lost her shit even more, yelling about how she isn't part of that church, but churches are supposed to HELP people, and she needed HELP to get to Dayton to see her daughter. (I have no idea why nobody heard her, especially yelling the word "help," and came out to see what was happening.) I don't remember how I got her to leave, but her behavior was enough to spook me hard. I really don't like being the only one alone in the lobby after the meeting starts. (And I already asked, and I can't leave the library and go into the meeting, because [1] someone has to watch the library, because what if someone steals books when it's unattended, and [2] someone has to be in the lobby because the doors are unlocked and what if people arrive late.) The only suggestion beyond "mace" and "air horn" was "call the local high school because the students are required to do volunteer hours, so one can come and sit with you." Yeah. *That* will make me feel safe. A random 15-year-old who doesn't want to be there. Which will be in no way awkward.
