I'm trying to be good and just breathe until everything's signed and official. It's hard, though!

Congrats, AMy.

That's amazing, Sparky. The kind of amazing I should not be surprised by, I suppose, but still am.

I am trying really hard to leave only half an hour late today. Such a frustrating day of not getting stuff done.

Just heard E blaring a song outside using the n-word. 1) I didn't buy him the song, so that bugs me. 2) I don't listen to music that uses it, because post-youth I became a much firmer believer that words are important and derogatory is not ok with me, regardless of who uses it (see also women using bitch, ho; homosexuals using faggot). 3) We haven't had big big discussions about this and I don't think he has enough knowledge to know what is being said, the history, the meaning - despite what may be usage now. 4) He was playing it outside in the driveway and that bothers me more than if he was listening on his headphones. That bothers me about myself. I need to call myself on that, that perception of others full on triggered me freaking out more than just the act.

Clearly there are exceptions and context is important, but this sounded to me like a casual usage, like friend, which I really do not want him to think is ok.

Dag, msbelle, that's a lot to expect to control a teenager's cultural intake. Better to stress the issues with a light touch and let them sort it out themselves. Honestly, it's not a good place to draw a line in the sand and control all their content. They're out of sight most of the time.

Eh, I have few problems with people within a group using a word...it's when people outside the group hear that and use it, thinking it's now OK, that it gets awkward...but I"m coming from a group that really has reclaimed some words (like dyke and queer). They still may be used in a bad context by horrible people, but it's not the word itself that would hurt, in that case. And sure, there's a lot less cultural baggage around those words than the N word but it still seems hard to draw a line like that in the sand. (That said, I think drawing a "if anyone else can hear it, curse words including the N word or bitch or whatever need to be bleeped" is totally reasonable)

no line in sand drawn. I explained that 1) I wasn't going to listen to it. 2) Why I wasn't and my own history with having to decide how much misogyny I was ok with from music. 3) I thought he needed to understand what the history behind the word is, despite how it may be used casually now 4) I showed him books on African American history, the biographies, the general history books on the civil rights era/harlem renaissance/slavery and encouraged him to start looking through some of them and get an idea of the history of racial issues in this country.

I will decide what is ok to be played/said in my presence. I've always done that.

Oddly, I "Language!"ed some boys at the pool today. It was during swim lessons, I was all hey, those little kids' moms and dads are over there & can hear you just like their little kids. Boys tried apologizing to me, I just laughed and pointed at the parents. And they apologized. Were kinda embarrassed, I think.

Just saying, hey, did you know this is heavy& why?

Today: neighbor cleared 3 dead rats from her warren clearing project (Engelbertina set up a nursery in her planter boxes.) work was stupid. I'm disorganized, pre vacation usual, I bought too much perishable food this weekend...and something, but I forgot, I'm disorganized.

I think you handled things just fine, Rebecca. I also have issues with language and think it's powerful and you need to be mindful of how you are using it, and not just curse words, so I would have made it into a teachable moment just like you did.

So today was pretty good but so very busy. Interviewing job candidates on campus, then piano lessons and then swim lessons (both of those for kids) and then just swimming because we were at the pool. And now crazy tired. Poor DH is still at work although he said he was leaving a while ago. phooey.

Just skimmed and saw that Suzi has a new puppy, which made me grin! We were on vacation back East until yesterday, so I just picked up our foster pup today; another foster parent was watching her while we were gone. She really needs to find her forever home. She's darling and cute but super high energy and not good with cats, which is stressing our felines out.

I will decide what is ok to be played/said in my presence. I've always done that.

Fair enough.