I feel really bad about the fact I'm about to have a frozen pizza for dinner. And I do so a couple of times a week.

But making him buy perishables is useless unless someone's going to be cooking them for him as well.

David, if I get the ScarJo hair, there either will be recriminations or pictures if it actually looks good.

I'm in the camp of Let The Autonomous Adult Have His Pancakes. I just don't want to make waves about it by not falling in line with SIL.

If he's not going to cook because he doesn't trust himself to remember to turn off the stove, then SIL's plan isn't sustainable. Is she going to cook for him every week? Prepared food from the grocery deli that he can heat up + healthier frozen food choices would be a good compromise, but ONLY if Tim's dad is interested AND willing to try and improve his diet.

My father is an autonomous adult who refuses to improve his diet even with heart disease and diabetes. I can't make choices for him.

I'm all in favor of letting people make their own food choices. If she wants to help, maybe she could buy him bags of frozen veggies or fruit in the hopes he'll supplement his other food.

But throwing out the stuff he does have? SO not cool.

Yeah, unless someone's going to stand over him and make him cook, it's not going to work.

Jesse! Though I am sad that I can't go to NO with you all, I think I will use the Southwest information to see if I can get a good deal to go down to LA for the Bora Bora trip.

A lot of airlines are cheap right now, but I think it's literally just today, so. Good luck!

I think I will use the Southwest information to see if I can get a good deal to go down to LA for the Bora Bora trip.

I am holding off on buying LA tickets until I find out if I'm relocating to the Bay Area anytime soon.

Best version is invite him for meals or offer to come over and cook a meal. Not to cook a meal for nannying or charity, to visit. Maybe with microwaveable frozen dishes of nominally better nutrition (higher fiber, fruity pancakes) that he could get himself IF he likes them. There are good micro options out there, if he's nervous about cooking, he might also be afraid of trying new things on his own.

As a person whose desire to cook and/or eat waxes and wanes, I will testify that I eat the frozen dinners and the kale turns into green sludge. The kale in my refrigerator does not magically turn into healthy meals. It turns into guilt.

If she wants to help, she can bring by a healthy meal or take him out once a week.

Any chance he'd eat any of the fruit cups for kids? Sometimes it's easier to eat something that's a small snack.

Tim just told me that his dad varies the pancakes with Quaker oat square cereal, and he has a bag of frozen berry medley from which he thaws a half cup of berries that he eats on the cereal. And, you know? From age 5 until I went gluten-free in my 30s, I ate cereal basically every morning AND I didn't even add fruit on top. So he's got me beat there.

I feel really bad about the fact I'm about to have a frozen pizza for dinner. And I do so a couple of times a week.

Oh hell naw. You're an autonomous adult. You get to have pizza.

But making him buy perishables is useless unless someone's going to be cooking them for him as well.

Exactly.

Prepared food from the grocery deli that he can heat up + healthier frozen food choices would be a good compromise, but ONLY if Tim's dad is interested AND willing to try and improve his diet.

Yup, and he's totally thrilled with Marie Calendar's sweet-and-sour chicken. He has no interest in branching out, except for a pot pie.

My father is an autonomous adult who refuses to improve his diet even with heart disease and diabetes. I can't make choices for him.

Yeah, I pointed that out to Tim, too -- my dad has so many chronic conditions that could be managed better with a different diet, but he won't do it. Contrast that with Tim's dad, who is almost 80 and has zero physical health problems. No heart disease, no high blood pressure, no diabetes, no vision problems -- he is a damn paragon of health. In light of that, he can have all the pot pies he wants. They're clearly not destroying his health (although it would be nice if he were more regular, but what are you gonna do).

Any chance he'd eat any of the fruit cups for kids? Sometimes it's easier to eat something that's a small snack.

He buy applesauce cups every other week, so he's getting a little fruit/fiber that way.

Metamucil in a bowl of applesauce in the morning. My mom swears by it and it isn't onerous.