I think I was lucky in that I reached age 29 before the death of someone around my age that I knew personally and liked.

I think I've spoken of the classmate that died when I was in eighth grade. I'd only known her since the beginning of seventh grade, but I knew her reasonably well because it was a fairly small school and we both played clarinet in the band.

What really freaked me out was learning that someone I'd been in grade school with died in his mid-twenties. I'd known him since kindergarten, and we were at each other's house for birthday parties and things like that.

Is thinking you're burnt out at your job a sign that you're burnt out? It just doesn't stop. I know I'm good at what I do. I was just named to be the Vice-Chair of a major committee for our national organization. I'll be part of a keynote address at our conference next month. And yet? All I can think is there's got to be more than this.

I've got four responses to major RFPs going out the door between tomorrow and Tuesday. There's at least three more on the horizon before April 1st. If we don't start winning some, my job could be in jeopardy. And I can't figure out why we're not winning. Our margins are razor-thin.

Blergh. I'm having a day. Sorry.

I should put together something for myself, I guess.

I think about this, too. I have no children, no younger siblings, and I know my sister's kids will not be looking after me when I'm elderly and infirm. My BFF is the same age as me, and her kids won't be looking after anyone ever. My other BF is in her early 30s, and has no kids. I tell her, she's gonna hafta take care of me when I'm old. She expects me to be a hilarious old person.

So I made this concoction of wild rice and brown rice with carrots and corn and peas for lunch. I even put some butter in it, and it still tastes like... vegetables. Ugh. I'm spending 380 calories on this?

and it still tastes like... vegetables

I hate having to eat things out of responsibility. It makes mealtime so depressing.

I have tried various preparations of vegetables. They still taste like vegetables, and all the primping does is make them not taste bad. It does not make them taste good. They're still vegetables.

All this rice. I could have had a baked potato, probably gotten fewer carbs, and been more satisfied. Not having that again. I'll look for a vegetable side that isn't mired in non-delicious white carbs. I only picked this one because it had brown rice too, but there's so little of it, I can't imagine it matters. If it's just for fiber, I would've gotten more from a potato skin.

Yes, I'm dieting again. I hate myself. Not for being fat, for giving in to the feeling that I should be dieting. So you all get to hear my sad commentary about my food. Sorry.

I have tried various preparations of vegetables. They still taste like vegetables, and all the primping does is make them not taste bad. It does not make them taste good. They're still vegetables.

I'm still a big proponent of tinkering with veggies to make them more appealing -- I have been sneered at for being a grown-ass adult who put cheese on steamed broccoli*, but I was never going to eat it without cheese, so the concern trolls who think I need to eat more broccoli need to deal with the fact that I need cheese on it to get me to eat it.

*(I actually roast it now, like I do with cauliflower, and lo and behold, I don't need cheese on it. Of course, there's a bunch of olive oil, so it's not devoid of tasty manipulations. But roasted broccoli tastes so much better than steamed broccoli! Who knew?)

I hate myself. Not for being fat, for giving in to the feeling that I should be dieting.

Oh, I feel this so hard. And do not even get me started on my soul-killing habit of comparing myself to other women (I don't mean models/actresses; I mean women who are basically my size [+/- a size] and post pictures on FB that I scrutinize to determine if we're still the same size or they've somehow become smaller than me. I am INSANE and it is, indeed, soul-killing. It's my secret, heretofore-unmentioned New Year's resolution -- to stop comparing myself to other women. I am, believe it or not, doing it less than I used to.)

Zen, sweet potatoes. They're awesome for you, unless you don't like them.

I find that vegetables are vastly improved with spices and olive oil. I've got a chicken seasoning that I use on mixed vegetables that adds tons of flavor. Grilling them also changes the taste for me.

::tries not to taunt Zen with my delicious lunch of fish tacos and bloody marys::

::fails::

Maria, I love sweet potatoes! Thanks for the reminder; I'll add them to my "meal plan". (I don't really have a meal plan. It's more of a list of Acceptable Food.)

I find that vegetables are vastly improved with spices and olive oil. I've got a chicken seasoning that I use on mixed vegetables that adds tons of flavor. Grilling them also changes the taste for me.

Oh, absolutely. Pretty much anything besides boiling or steaming makes plant matter taste better. I need to really work on learning how to do this stuff, instead of just relying on what's served up at my lunch place.

Taunt away, -t! Fish tacos sounds terrible to me, and I can make my own alcoholic treats. So nyah.

::swipes -t's tacos and bloody mary::