That's fantastic news, Maria! Damn, BoA did the right thing.

Short answer - you don't have to justify leaving a job that makes you miserable. Making you miserable is sufficient reason to bail.

In a nutshell, that.

"I will tell you one thing that sounds reasonable and then later point out how you are not meeting standards because you have been doing the thing I told you to do" [which happened again today]).

Fuck that noise. The problem isn't you. You've gotten lots of positive feedback, from your boss and from people not your boss; you have evidence that you are capable of doing a perfectly fine job at this. If you are consistently unhappy, and the thing that makes you unhappy is unlikely to change, then forget this crazy-making "never be a quitter!" cultural philosophy and make your plans to GTFO.

We've noted before that your boss sounds a lot like my boss, who cannot communicate clearly to save her life or mine. In the first year I worked here, I thought about quitting often because she was driving me mad. I finally got a level of autonomy from her, which is what allowed me to stay. Still, about once a year she gives me an assignment that stresses me the fuck out because of her inconsistent instructions. If that were my total job experience, I'd have to leave.

Couch it as "These are the instructions you gave me, can you point out where I misunderstood them?"

I did that today, as a matter of fact. She told me I was not editing enough pages per hour based on my invoice, and that I need to be editing at least 3 pages an hour. The invoice is set up to break out time spent editing, and time spent contacting the authors and then making all the authors' changes (because the editors handle that). Sometimes the administrative stuff adds more than 2 hours to the total time on an article.

So she looks at total pages and total hours, and tells me I'm not editing enough pages per hour. I pointed out that if she looks at the breakdown (i.e., Article XYZ, 9 pages, 3.0 hours editing, 0.75 hours administrative), that's still 3 pages an hour of editing. And then I asked if I misunderstood, and total "editing" time is meant to include all the administrative crap.

Her reply was "Thank you for pointing out the misunderstanding. I am confident you will continue to improve. The experienced editors average 3.5-4.2 pages an hour."

But I'm not an "experienced editor" (in AMA tenure, at least). I'm so frustrated with not knowing what's expected of me.

Though I wonder if today's email was meant to be understood as "you need to bill us less," not "you need to work faster". I guess it doesn't matter to them, as long as I'm billing at a faster rate.

Steph, can you arrange for a sit-down when you're in Chicago? Sometimes a lot of this can be worked out with 30 minutes of F2F contact.

And when she thanked you for pointing things out, she didn't reiterate the 3 pph goal, she assumed that you would eventually reach the higher goal, because she knows you can since you just showed here you had already reached the 3 pph benchmark.

Try to get out of your head. I know it's easier said than done, and overthinking things is a hazard for a lot of us.

Try to get out of your head. I know it's easier said than done, and overthinking things is a hazard for a lot of us.

That's very true. I just get caught off guard feeling like I was being set up to fail (which makes no sense rationally, because they are a business and can't afford that kind of nonsense).

And when she thanked you for pointing things out, she didn't reiterate the 3 pph goal, she assumed that you would eventually reach the higher goal, because she knows you can since you just showed here you had already reached the 3 pph benchmark.

Seriously, I *really* appreciate your perspective on this. Because I read it and just thought, "...okay? Are we on the same page? Or am I still failing here?"

And when she thanked you for pointing things out, she didn't reiterate the 3 pph goal, she assumed that you would eventually reach the higher goal, because she knows you can since you just showed here you had already reached the 3 pph benchmark.

Also how I read that. You are improving, and will continue to, for at least the next 11 months.

And when she thanked you for pointing things out, she didn't reiterate the 3 pph goal, she assumed that you would eventually reach the higher goal, because she knows you can since you just showed here you had already reached the 3 pph benchmark.

Also how I read that. You are improving, and will continue to, for at least the next 11 months.

I am clearly not adept at communicating in a business setting. (That's not snarky; that's observation.) Because my old job was very informal (and also dysfunctional), I'm still not used to working with someone who actually manages people in a business-appropriate manner.

(Although it took me months to realize that when she says "feel free to..." she really means "DO THIS." As in "feel free to remove the comment boxes before you return the file" means "you should remove the comment boxes etc."

Because I'm used to "feel free" meaning "hey, do this if you want," like "I made some pie; feel free to have a piece!" That totally doesn't mean "YOU SHOULD EAT PIE NOW!"

...or does it?)

-t! I am about to send you yet another email about the trip. We might still be able to get the excursions if we let the travel agent know today.

t nag

Maybe it would help if you thought of her emails as being read by an excessively polite British person? (*Is she*, in fact, an excessively polite British person? Because this seems like it might explain so many of the communication issues.)

(Although it took me months to realize that when she says "feel free to..." she really means "DO THIS." As in "feel free to remove the comment boxes before you return the file" means "you should remove the comment boxes etc."

That's not you, Steph. That's her not being clear in her instructions.

Maybe it would help if you thought of her emails as being read by an excessively polite British person? (*Is she*, in fact, an excessively polite British person? Because this seems like it might explain so many of the communication issues.)

She is excessively polite and soft-spoken over the phone (and I assume in person), though not British. Unless she ditched her accent. But yeah, she really is excessively polite.

(Although it took me months to realize that when she says "feel free to..." she really means "DO THIS." As in "feel free to remove the comment boxes before you return the file" means "you should remove the comment boxes etc."

That's not you, Steph. That's her not being clear in her instructions.

Okay. I wasn't sure if "feel free" had a connotation in business that I was missing. It would be easier if she just said "Please remove the comment boxes." But OTOH, I was SO PROUD of cracking that code!