"Make it better". They know they don't like it, they don't know why they don't like it or how to fix it, tell the minion to fix it. Is this Peter Principle?

I generally prefer the dive in and figure it out school of learning. It's how I learned Photoshop, how I am learning painting, how I cook...

I'm perfectly happy to do that on my own, for a hobby or whatever. I'm less likely to do it (even for a hobby) in front of people who can see me fail. And for work? Actually, setting aside my crippling emotional reaction to being set up to fail, it's ridiculously inefficient to just throw me in the deep end, watch me flail, and THEN tell me everything I did wrong, when just telling me what TO do in the first place would have saved so much time on my end AND the end of the person who has to review my work. It makes no sense. But yes, I also hate looking ignorant/lazy in the eyes of the people who pay me, when I'm not actually ignorant or lazy, just woefully lacking in information that I didn't even know existed or I needed.

It's like, if you're told to hem a skirt and so you do, but it's crooked as shit, and THEN you're told "Hey, you need to measure and pin it first so it won't be crooked." Well for god's sake TELL ME FIRST. Then things don't have to be redone. You wasted my time and yours.

Ahem. I am perhaps still a little worked up about this.

I guess it's not that they want you to fail but they get such a warm glow of helpfulness when they gently correct your errors. So many shrieking fights over this.

Timelies all!

Yay flea! Yay sumi!

Super cute house, flea! And this is also where I add the obligatory LA rant about how the price of housing in other states make me want to cry.

Listening to everyone cough and sneeze around me is making my lungs hurt.

Charlotte airport has rocking chairs in the main concourse. I know because I've run past them so many times.

I would not be able to work where I work if I wasn't okay with diving in and figuring things out, but it's an exhausting way to live and contributes to my constant decision fatigue.

Exactly this.

There's one kid (in her 20s) at work who was always teasing me about being old because I'm resistant to jumping in and figuring new things out. It's a waste of time and energy to leave us floundering with new stuff instead of just giving us a set of instructions. It's not because I'm "old" or dumb, it's because I get annoyed at the inefficiency and the unnecessary stress.

Sophia, don't feel too bad, you're not alone. I had a similar experience in my brief stint working as a cashier at the Mart of Wal. I learned from that job that I cannot work retail.

Before I left work, I realized I didn't have any long-cooking food at home for the snow day, so I went to the supermarket. That was amazing. There was almost no produce! So I didn't get any of that, but I did get some pork shoulder, which was most of my plan. So that's good.

Yay flea! Yay sumi! Yay Jilli! Boo Plei's brother! My brother is very strange but also sweet. My most recent communique from him was an email with a link to an article full of tips that would help me trick Will into having fun at Disney World.

I went to the doctor today, my primary care physician, to ask about an increase in my thyroid meds. My numbers are getting worse, but are technically "normal." I am pretty symptomatic with tons of fatigue and my hair falling out and being very puffy. (I have Hashimoto's thyroiditis, tending towards hypothyroidism.) This is the doctor who diagnosed me, on the strength of my making noise and showing up with journal articles in hand about the prophylactic treatment of euthyroid Hashimoto's patients. (Because early on, the only thing wrong according to my labs was that I had antibodies. In what world is your body attacking itself not-that-bad?)

Anyway, she has repeatedly asked me if I wanted to see a specialist, and I told her no because based on my experience in the past they'll tell me to eat better and send me on my way, and the best they can do is what she's already doing - listening to me about my symptoms and prescribing me meds.

But today... today she asked, "Are you sure this dosage increase is safe? What if the T3 is doing something to your body but not causing symptoms? Would you know?" I almost started crying and yelling at the same time, but instead calmly convinced her that we could try this out and I'll pay close attention to how I feel and if I start to feel wrong I'll see her again.

But I'm pretty sure she feels out of her depth and will tell me next time that she's got to send me to an endocrinologist.

Still, crisis averted. For now.

I asked for a thyroid test the last time, and have never heard back. I'd better follow up and get more proactive. My hair has been thinning for months, and I've felt tired. Doc was wondering if it was a result of major life change or not. My mother had thyroid issues.