And I really still can't believe that ita's gone.

Yeah, I've swung back around to disbelief today.

who have been contacting (reaching out to)

Oh, you'd better believe I see what you did there, missy.

Suzi, I emailed her maybe five minutes before you posted. It hasn't bounced back, so, fingers crossed. I've also pinged Kathy A (whatever the reasons for her choice to separate from the board, it's part of her history and she's part of ours; I can't imagine she wouldn't even want to know).

Suzi, I've e-mailed katefate.

Betsy, I'm so glad for your family! May resolution find you soon too.

Good luck, Sean.

Mercy. I am flatter than a depressed pancake today. No energy, intermittent tears, re-evaluating a LOT about my life right now.

Everything seemed so good a few days ago. Now. Not so much.

Hugs and supportive distance all around.

Does anybody have contact info for Strega? Or is in touch with her? I think she'd like to know.

Argh...messing around online trying to find a way back into the stuff I was doing before this happened, and...you know how we say we have, like, ten conversations? That is officially seven more than the disability rights movement has. They are playing the Name Game again, and sadly, not the silly song with "bonanna-fo-fana" in it That would be funny at least. "Let's do Gimpy!" No, I mean, for the millionth time, parsing the difference between "disabled person" and "person with a disability" Which I really used to care about, but I'm older now, and College!Me really underestimated the human race's utility at making up insults, and did I mention that the topic comes up a lot? I have run out of fucks to give for that conversation, whether it's my turn or not. I'm tempted to go in there and say "Pick one or I'm calling us all Numbnuts, even though half of us don't have any."

I'll call Strega.

I had therapy today. So that was good.

I cried a lot. Will came over and was here, he's here now. I'm on my Chromebook, in bed, Will's lying beside me and the cat is lying in my lap and I'm reading the board. It's as close to having you guys in person.

I like Zen's idea for ita's law. I've been having vegenence fantasies similiar to that, only involving a lot more pain to ita's doctors. I want to hunt them down (and, actually, every medical professional who didnt't treat her with the dignity and respect she deserved), break their elbows and wrists, and knees, and ankles and dislocate their shoulders and while they are lying on the floor writhing in pain tell them. "You can't get up and walk! But you look fine to me, What's your pain level? A 10? I don't believe you." and toss a bottle of tylenol on the floor a few feet away and tell them "you're drug seeking, we don't treat drug seekers here. Go get the bottle and open it your own damnself. If you can't maybe then I might believe you aren't med seeking." But I'd never let them have the bottle.

I still have a lot of anger.

Betsy I'm glad your husband and son don't have migraines any more.

Sean, it's okay to be scared about surgery. I'm usually okay about surgery but when I had my tubal ligation I got really upset and my blood pressure spiked to the point they were considering putting it off. I wasn't upset about my decision but it suddenly got kinda scary. We have your back and don't be afraid to talk about being afraid or feel like you are wrong to have fears. We're always be here for you.

Sean, I don't blame you. Of course, a lot of the stuff doctors wanted to do to me is more like to see what would happen(We didn't do any of it)

Surgery and recovery ~ma, Sean, and for your bonus mom, too, Kiba.

It's good to see all of you here again! I'd list everyone but I'd probably mess up and leave someone out, so... alla y'all. We missed you. I've missed you.

Betsy, that's such great news about your husband and son!

Cannot concentrate on work. Luckily for my job life, I got the work I really needed to pay attention to done yesterday morning before I saw the news. Now all I have to do this week is work I can do on autopilot.

I wish I had gone to more of the F2Fs. I wish I'd ever met ita F2F even once.

Hubby always laughed that he didn't have the Marijuana box checked on the "drugs in bloodstream" test. I told him it wasn't Bingo.

Okay, that's funny, though.

If you guys think it's worth doing, I'll do it. I'll write up a draft petition of ita's Law this weekend and post it for comments.

oh god I've committed to Doing Something. cue anxiety