Speaking of pain meds and other fun medical stuff....

It looks like I will be having surgery sometime soon. I don't know exactly when yet, as I just got the authorization for the surgical consult, and I have to schedule that first, then I imagine we'll schedule the surgery during the office visit.

The upside of being completely student-ass broke right now is that I get free healthcare. The downside is that they send me all sorts of places. This surgeon is located in Torrance, way the hell on the other side of town from me. And I don't own a car.

I expect family will help cover transportation for that visit, and they've said they'll come down for my surgery and recovery.

All of that being said, I am fucking TERRIFIED of this surgery. It's probably a little ridiculous, as it's minimal, but I'm highly surgery-phobic.

To say nothing of the fact that my understanding is that the recovery pain from this surgery is..... intense. I already have a little taste of it, because of the problem it will be correcting, but I worry that some of the awful pain I've had will be nothing compared to what the healing surgery will be like.

But I keep trying to tell myself that it's temporary, and when it's over, there will be a major improvement in my quality of life.

Still, highly surgery-phobic.

Seeing so many returnees posting is the best part of this tragedy.

It is so good to see all of you here, though I hate the reason for it.

It's been bumpy yesterday and today since I've had advising sessions with students at UCLA, as well as meetings with new clients for the business and I've had to work to put all of this aside while dealing with those, and then come back to it.

I wish that I could just take some time to process, but alas, that isn't going to be the case. It is one of the downsides to running a small business.

All of that being said, I am fucking TERRIFIED of this surgery. It's probably a little ridiculous, as it's minimal, but I'm highly surgery-phobic.

While chances are everything will go just fine, there is nothing wrong with having fear of surgery. I learned that first hand. I never had a big surgery fear, and then I had what was a very routine procedure and I'm sure folks remember how that ended.

This sounds like I'm trying to scare you, and I'm not. What I'm saying is that the fear is okay and that you have support here. Recovery from any surgery is a drag, but you'll have family around, and you'll have us around to help you through it.

On a personal level, let me know what I can do to help.

My husband's bonus mom (his brother's mother, his father's wife, too close to be called stepmom) is going in for a partial glossectomy tomorrow along with having some lymph nodes removed, due to cancer on her tongue/in her throat from a decaying dental filling. She gets there at 6 am and is set for surgery to start at 7:30. She'll have 8-12 hours of surgery, 24-48 hours in the ICU, and 10-14 days in the hospital, before the long road of recovery at home begins.

If you find yourself awake between 6 and 7:30 am Eastern tomorrow, please imagine her covered by a quilt with a twilight blue blending into a deep violet covered with the moon, stars, the sun and dragonflies.

On a personal level, let me know what I can do to help.

Will do, Drew.

I will sign the hell out of an ita's law proposal.

I actually have two pieces of awesome migraine news. My husband discovered that alcohol was his major migraine trigger, and that if he cut out alcohol entirely, he stopped having migraines. And my son, as we all hoped beyond hoping for, did what some male adolescents do and mostly outgrew his migraines. He's just turned 21, and got an A in his first community college class after missing all of high school.

This is great! I'm so glad to hear things are going better for both.

Surgery~ma, Sean. I hope everything goes as well as possible and that your post-op pain can be kept to a minimum.

Its been so nice to see everyone coming by the board. I realized yesterday that at least half the friends I've made since 2002 have been because of the board or, indirectly, through others that I met here. My life is so much richer because of y'all.

Betsy - wonderful news about your husband and son. Just magnificent.

I only wish the same for you.

Betsy - that is so wonderful! I am so happy to hear it.

I'm skimming a bit. ~ma and love to all (though I did get to see Betsy's news - dear, I am so happy to read that).

I'm now officially exhausted. And I really still can't believe that ita's gone. I fucking hate the thought that she's not in the world anymore. This is so wrong.

I am reading Allyson's book when I can't handle with all that's online, and it's so wonderful. I brought it to work with me, to explain people what this community is. What it means. Thank you for the book, Allyson.

And I love you all, and I'll finish my cup of tea and go to bed soonish (10:35 PM here).

Don't you ever go away.