Everyone...I appreciate the sentiment behind your sorrow for me, but...well, really, it's time for Grandma. She's made it clear she wants to go and, frankly, she's hung around longer than anyone expected. The real, final push was, I think, my mom's death. So I'm okay. This day's sorrow isn't for me, it's for ita. I seriously don't want it to be other than that.
Tomorrow, next week, next month...whenever my Grandma decides to go...then I'll be here accepting your comfort. Today I just want to share the comfort we can bring each other, what I can give as well as get.
This day is about ita. And it's *for* Allyson and Kristen and Paula and ita's family and...well, all of us, but equally.
If that makes sense.
Yes, it does. It makes total sense.
But thank you for your kindness.
Hi Cindy. Glad to see you check in, in that weird and bittersweet way.
Heh. The BF basically said the same thing. He doesn't want his loss today to take away from the grief we feel at ita's. I told him it doesn't work like that. It's not a "take from pot A and put in pot B" situation. It's more like they become pot AB and the grief and the sorrow flow freely.
Le Nubian texted me about it, so she knows.
Allyson just posted a call for help in the ita thread, FYI.
Earlier tonight I was checking the news on what used to be AfterElton.com, saw they were doing a photo retrospective for Orlando Bloom's birthday, and thought "Oh, ita will love this!" for about half a second before reality drop-kicked me.
I really don't want to go to bed, because I'm going to lay down and cry and not be able to sleep.
What Steph said. I think I'm reading till I nod off.
I have already given myself permission to not try too hard to sleep tonight and work from home tomorrow. Not that that option helps you, I suppose, Tep.
Not that that option helps you, I suppose.
I always have that option! Tomorrow is a slow work day, so it doesn't matter much if I can't sleep well tonight. I just don't want to lay down and start crying. I don't know why, seeing as how I've been sitting and standing while crying all day.