Aw thanks. There is wine. And DH is getting take out so I can be as weepy as I want to be.

I had to take this section of posts in small small chunks, so I only just got to here.

I nearly wrote "got to the end" and couldn't phrase it like that, just couldn't.

So strange to see all your names again. So strange to return to the house that ita built and know a cornerstone is gone.

I'm going to start on the ita thread now. And then I'm doing a lot of thinky thoughts.

smonster is here and we are watching Community.

Allyson, Burrell, Kat, Kristen, Lori, and Paula, I'm so sorry you had to do this last thing for ita. And I'm glad you could.

Nilly, thank you for thinking of me. I knew. I couldn't bring myself here. I needed to be alone with it for awhile. Maybe still do. I worked and mostly held it together through interminable webex meetings. If there's one thing that helps less, it is that.

Tonight I met with neighbor whose cats I will be fostering so she can check herself into residential psych, for depression. I offered to do this back before the holidays, so it isn't as if it just came up. It's going to be a pain in the ass, her kitties are special needs and completely unrelated to the depression, she's one of those sooper kooky poison in everything types, so I have to endure that in addition to instructions.Neighbor Woo Woo.And it's probably going to unsettle the household, but as long as I manage not to kill her damned cats, it's fleeting. And she's in need and her issues drive away a lot of other forms of help.

And there's a weird symmetry that's inexact but pulls from so many threads of the narratives born here.

It is good to read that you and smonster are together, Nora. Hug each other.

I love how so many of us are watching ita's shows in honor of her.

Oh thank god I didn't drink my emergency pinot noir. This is precisely what it was meant for. "Break glass. Consume immediately."

I keep waiting to find out that this isn't real.

I really wish we were all physically together right now.

There is wine. And DH is getting take out so I can be as weepy as I want to be.

If I could be there, I would. F and I would do their best to impress the guest as usual, and we'd be on our third bottle of wine before we realized we had opened the first.

KEMTGuy (I have a BF now for those who don't wander into Bitches) has been amazing, even though one of his mentors from Band will probably die tonight. They're pulling him off of life support. We've been going back and forth between tragedies, and it's exhausting.

I"m just so... resigned. We keep losing good people.

The hour is late for me so I am taking a glass of wine and walking away from my laptop and off to bed. It seems like it has been an 80 hour day.

Holding all of you in my heart.