I suck at being sick. I need to keep reminding myself that taking my temperature every 15 minutes isn't actually going to do anything. (It's gone up half a degree in about two hours. I have no idea what that means.) Also, I know I should eat dinner, but I'm not hungry. Maybe ramen.

I was trying to be healthy by snacking on carrots, but I seem to have aggravated a tooth issue. I've been having tooth sensitivity on and off, possibly TMJ/grinding teeth/stress over former boss lady (and the pain disappeared once she was fired) but it's been flaring up again lately (perhaps due to the impending loss of the rest of my staff and being on my own again, perhaps due to a cavity that I've let fester, but the last time I thought it was a cavity it was tendonitis in my neck and TMJ and grinding teeth in my sleep).

This pain isn't going away with popping motrin and brushing my teeth with sensodyne five times a day.

I'm not proud, but until I can call the dentist, I'm spending the rest of the weekend shitfaced. The whiskey will dull with the ibuprofen will not.

Fucking carrots.

Argh, I think I lost my wee billfold with my driver's license, a credit card (I will have to figure out which one is missing, but I think it's only one) and all the cash I had for the weekend. But in looking for it I found one of the shoes Walter lost this morning, so that's something I suppose.

I'm calling it, no more trying to be productive today.

Yeah, I'm done.

Except I got part of the way through my painting-the-back-steps project this morning, and I have only the easiest bit to go. I should just suck it up and do it, and then I can make myself a drink.

Crap, I can't decide if I haven't left the house today because it's too damned hot or because I'm afraid to leave the house. I'm picturing going to the mall, and a shot of fear goes through me. Bugger. I can't let myself be trapped in the house. I am going to make myself go get something to eat at the restaurant we always went to, probably run into the manager who was an old friend of his. I feel marginally capable here at my desk. I've got to be able to get that outside of the house.

Unfortunately, the effect of alcohol and pain on me is to make me drunk AND in pain AND more depressed.

Bugger. I can't let myself be trapped in the house.

Connie, be kind to yourself. Don't force yourself to do anything right now beyond the basics, if you don't want to.

I really wish my body had some reaction to fever other than making everything ache. As soon as my temp is even slightly elevated, every muscle and joint in my body goes into pain. It hurts, and I can't tell which pain I should pay attention to -- if everything hurts, then how can I tell what's causing the problem?

Stay safe, Sue, and I hope you aren't without power for too long.

Oh, when I posted, the power was back on. It's blinked out a few times since, but is mostly on. I spent an hour this AM in the mall by my house, which had power, before it opened stealing WiFi from Starbucks. It was a strange experience. Lots of old people hanging around, a dude doing laps of the mall, and me in semi-darkness.

What Consuela said, Connie. Take care.

Hell with it, I'm ordering a pizza.