I wish LinkedIn recruiters would spam me - that job I thought I had last month has almost certainly fallen through (they just stopped returning my emails - boo) and so I'm just blindly stabbing in the dark for anything that looks like I could be good at it. My current job is a soul-sucking mess and I spend way more hours yelling "FUCK OFF" at my inbox than is probably good for my mental health.

The only part of a company party I look back fondly on is the Giant Bowl of Shrimp at the company before last. Every year, they'd say, "We going to have to cut back on the cost of the party," and we'd all think, "Not the shrimp! Anything but the shrimp!"

I always wanted a company holiday party like the one in Desk Set.

We haven't had a proper holiday party since 2001. Instead we've had a holiday dinner at a local restaurant, but it's not the same. No alcohol, no music, no wandering around talking to people, no scandalous stories the next day. And the food typically isn't all that good. I haven't been sad to have to miss it, no longer being in the same state.

We haven't had a "dress fancy, drive somewhere nice, bring the spouse" party since 2007 or 2008. I don't miss them much. We just have a nice catered lunch here. It suits the personality of this place better than the shmancy party, and is guaranteed a better turnout (of employees).

I chronically don't attend any work Christmas party I can avoid (god forbid I get this job in time for one! I haven't had a chance to establish my graceful professional distance (ahem) yet!). The last one I couldn't get out of (during work hours in the building across the plaza) had a talent show where only *1* guy showed up to perform, and it was standup, so extra ow.

The last one before that that I can remember, was in Michigan, and one of the presidents danced on the table. Oyve...

My company is having the holiday party at one of the fancier hotels in Salt Lake, because we have that many employees. I generally attended with Hubby, because, hey, free food that's generally pretty good. No one's questioning why I'm not attending this year.

But this being Utah, there is no booze at one of these parties, not even at the summer party that's generally held at a big outdoor venue. At the December party, there is a tradition that one of the upper execs breaks out his funky persona at the end of the party--after the presentations et al--and DJs for some dancing. I've never stayed to see what a bunch of self-conscious, primarily-Mormon Utahns consider party dancing. Apparently some of the departments get quite competitive on how well they can "get down." I don't think anyone dances on table.

Potlucks. Or contribute cash for drinks and stuff.

I think there are something like 3 or 4 next week (division, IT-that-we-share-a-floor-with-they-invite-us, whole workplace…and then random.)

I will attempt to attend exactly none of them.

I haven't worked in a department that was able to stop all work and mingle for years. They'll probably bring in cookies or something on the 24th and people can grab them as they can. We get kind of envious when we hear about various departments taking off for a few hours in the middle of the day to go do something fun.

I've only been to one work-related x-mas party in my life. Back in 1987.

All I remember of that party was it was tedious. I left early to hang out with some friends--which night ended up for some reason with four of us in one bed (although nothing naughty happened.)

The party was on a Friday but we had mandatory overtime on Saturday. I ended up getting two hours of sleep that night.