OK, I feel a little guilty for having good news in the midst of the stupid fucking shutdown that is going to make life significantly more difficult for a huge number of people, including many of our own, BUT:

They offered me the job! WOO! And now I'm about to schedule a meeting with their HR dept to talk about salary/benefits/etc. So, my question to the hive mind: In my phone conversation with the library director, who just called me to make the offer, he said that based on my experience and their "metrics," they can offer me a salary of $[redacted], which is more than I'm making now, but I would like to at least try for $[redacted]. Can I still negotiate for a higher salary, or would you assume that the number is more or less set in stone? (This is a private K-12 school, FWIW.) I know most public schools have pretty rigid salary steps, but I don't know as much about private schools. Does anyone have any thoughts/suggestions?

I mean, I know the answer is Always Negotiate, but... eep! I don't have much experience with this.

Always ask for more. It can't hurt, and if they can't offer salary, is there anything in terms of benefits that you can ask for?

No, don't feel bad, this is Really Good News, Kate!

(German proverb: sadness shared is halved, happiness shared is doubled.)

Sorry I don't have any advice on negotiating. My response to a job offer is pretty much always rolling over on my back and showing my soft white belly.

Yay Kate! Sure, ask for more -- why not?

if they can't offer salary, is there anything in terms of benefits that you can ask for?

Maybe? I doubt there will be any vacation time offered, since the position already includes two months off in the summer and two weeks at Christmas/New Year's. What else would be feasible? Retirement contributions? Percentage of health care premiums?

Sure, ask for more -- why not?

Because they will laugh at me and then take away the job offer? (At least, this is what my brain is telling me.)

Kate, try to get as much information about their metrics as you can. We offer a salary in the middle of whatever step we're assigning them to, because that allows room for growth. If you come in too high, you can end up not getting a raise (because you can't advance to a new step without a new job title - impossible). So, it would be better to get $45K at a higher step than in the one you're currently assigning to you (if that's how they work).

But also have alternatives: More vacation time, etc., that they can give you without actually spending $$

Because they will laugh at me and then take away the job offer? (At least, this is what my brain is telling me.)

Right, that is what you need to counter in your brain. That will not happen! It has never happened! Certainly not when someone asked for like 5% more than the offer.

Another thing you could ask for is a shorter review period? Like, could you get a review in 6 months with the stated aim of bumping you up to the higher number?

Woot! Congrats Kate! The salary may be set, but it never hurts to ask. You might want to consider counter arguments (Like additional training/experience/qualifications/comparative salaries)as to why you think you deserve more than they are offering.

I have read that men almost always negotiate, while women generally don't.