Ugh, Amy, I hear you. Try the gum or e-cig? When I fake-quit once, I used the gum, and it helped a lot. It's not cheap, but I didn't use as many pieces as they thought I would need.

I think the e-cig would help some, behaviorally, but I'm worried about the actual nicotine withdrawal. I've been a smoker for a LONG time.

I've also realized how much I use it as a crutch just to get away for a few minutes. When you smoke, you can head outside by yourself, and no one wants to go with (unless they smoke, too). And a lot of the time, it's not even about the cigarette, it's just about a quick breather.

I have a lot of friends who like the e cigs. You can make your own stuff to put in it and work down the nicotine until its just flavor and no nicotine.

Oh, absolutely. Maybe a bigger school is easier? My freshman year college roommate was Prep-for-Prep at Andover, and she did OK. Of course, she found a cohort to the extent that she couldn't talk to me for a big chunk of the year, due to her sorority's pledging rules.

Eh, I went to a big public school and also found freshman year easier than senior year (fewer classes and more free time!). Though later that changed, it was all my own slacker fault. (I mean, yes, my public school had international baccalaureate, but also metal detectors and a nursery)

When you smoke, you can head outside by yourself, and no one wants to go with (unless they smoke, too). And a lot of the time, it's not even about the cigarette, it's just about a quick breather.

Yeah, I had a boss once who only smoked when she was really stressed out, so she wasn't addicted at all, and finally just realized she could for a five-minute walk without actually smoking.

I've also realized how much I use it as a crutch just to get away for a few minutes. When you smoke, you can head outside by yourself, and no one wants to go with (unless they smoke, too). And a lot of the time, it's not even about the cigarette, it's just about a quick breather.

That was the hardest thing for me when I quit, especially since my boss smoked and so needing a break every two hours to go have a cigarette was totally understandable, but just taking a break to take a break was weird.

Withdrawal (for me anyway) was like having a the flu for about a week, bad for the first three days and then not so bad, and that was it for the physical effects. Psychologically, well, that was 15 years ago and I still have those maybe-a-cigarette-would-help instincts even though I am pretty sure that actually taking a puff would just make me cough and generally feel awful at this point.

I have to agree that the more expensive private schools can be a difficult adjustment culturally. I didn't grow up poor , but I was solidly middle class with two school teacher parents, and I ended up transferring after a semester at a very nice, but also very elite, private college to go back to my state school. Most of that decision was financial, but I'll admit that some of it was that I was the only person I knew at the school who was working part time as a waitress off campus. Another painful memory: sitting in the cafeteria and hearing a couple of girls whispering that they'd heard I was on financial aid.

Hah--guess I just made friends with the other financial aid kids. I definitely didn't hang with the Prince of Spain or anything.

I sometimes wish I smoked because its a great excuse to get up and leave a bar for a few minutes of privacy with someone, if you're in a group...ahem. Might be a reason I've dated/met/hooked up with a few smokers.

That's so crazy. I went to a big fancy school, and pretty much all of my friends had financial aid, and my best friends were the first in their families to go to college. We all had jobs! Of course there were a shitload of rich people there, but I did not gravitate toward them.

Or, what meara said!

Rabbi Harold Kushner's daughter (he wrote When Bad Things Happen to Good People, among other things) was one of my roommates freshman year, but she was totally down to earth. But at NYU it was really easy to disappear into the larger Village, rather than being surrounded by NYU kids all the time.

I did feel a little more comfortable when I went to Hunter, though.