Thanks guys.

You know what? I'm going to try and not stay away because I'm sulking It wasn't even a nightmare, just a wave of overwhelming pointlessness. Isolation won't help.

I will just catch up on 700 emails, rest the eye while wishing I wasn't baby dandling unfit--they're surprising me with how simple a boost they can give for just a bit.

They were so excited I have insurance again! We're celebrating by ordering my first mammogram!

"Congratulations on your insurance! Let us squish your ta-tas in celebration!"

I need to figure out what labs are under my (Tim's) insurance so I can go get blood drawn to re-test my 8-points-over-normal cholesterol. I sure hope all this oatmeal and elliptical-ing nudges it down 9 points so both the doctor and my dad will STFU about it. (I, OTOH, do not give a single fuck about it. Seriously, 8 points do not worry me. But I want my dad to STFU about it, and if my cholesterol doesn't drop, I will probably lie and tell him it did, because oh my god man, get out of my shit about this.)

It was actually my idea, Tep! I said, "I love this, I want to have All the Tests now!" And when she learned I'd never had a mammogram, we were obviously ready to party. ::wink::

I have blood work to do, too! Hell, I may even investigate the colonoscopy again.

But I want my dad to STFU about it, and if my cholesterol doesn't drop, I will probably lie and tell him it did, because oh my god man, get out of my shit about this.

Completely reasonable, for real.

Given your dad's medical history, that's pretty ironic. Or, rather, his history of responding to his own medical issues.

Given your dad's medical history, that's pretty ironic. Or, rather, his history of responding to his own medical issues.

I...tried to bring that up with him, and he said "I get checked out as soon as the doctor says I need to!" Which is, in fact, true. He treats the doctor's pronouncements as Word of God. He just ignores all his own signs of imminent medical crisis. But that's not an argument I can win with him.

They were so excited I have insurance again! We're celebrating by ordering my first mammogram!

Woo hoo!

I am mulling over a pet theory on what's been happening lately with the mens (not all men clearly, but you get my point) getting all aggro in online conversations when male privilege is brought up. Would love to get feedback on it when it's more formed, but right now it goes something like this: it's the anxiety that comes with that first realization that all the cultural signifiers of their race/gender/privilege come with baggage too. I remember having that moment in middle school and high school and getting very angry, and then eventually coming to terms with it.

But that's not an argument I can win with him.

Of course not. We're all always convinced that our actions make perfect sense.

Yeah, I really think your dad has nowhere to stand when bugging you about doctors! Eesh.

whenever someone likes those posts my iPhone plays cheering crowd noises at me, and that is pretty great.

Dude, I want my phone to cheer for me!

I try not to read too much news because it makes me sad and angry. And I kinda feel like we SHOULD be angry, but then I can't support feeling like that all the time, or the level it would take, and then I get depressed that without it things can't/won't change, and...such a bad cycle.

Also, I want kittens! So bad! The foster kitten people specially emailed me yesterday to be like "we know you're getting our regular emails, but we're getting bunches of kittens tomorrow, any chance you can take some?" and I had to say no, because I'll be out of town. But I want to play with kittens!!! Or puppies. Or babies.

I need a cheering section.

Also I have to give the puppy back today. Sad.