OLD FOLKS COMMUNITY HOUSING is like my favorite thing ever. I really really do not understand why more people do not do it. Pool money even and hire a full-time aide.

Seriously. My stepdad's mother is a widow (her husband died after not getting his pneumonia treated because he is stubborn [and also dead, so you do the math]), my dad is single but in his 70s, and Tim's dad is a widower. Both Tim's dad and my dad (who, coincidentally, have the same first name) are easygoing guys who could really use someone to tell them what to do. My stepdad's mom is, more or less, the ideal dictator of a small island nation. THEY SHOULD ALL LIVE TOGETHER! Win-win-win.

Stephen's dad is so much like that. Once Stephen's mom died, he just sort of deflated. He doesn't go to church anymore -- he never goes anywhere but the grocery store or the doctor's office. Even when we were still up there, he used to chafe at sitting down to dinner all together sometimes. It makes me so sad for him, because there's so much he could be enjoying about his remaining years, and he's just not.

My dad's parents moved into independent senior living when they were still active and in their early 70s. It was awesome, for them and us. My mom's mom did not move into assisted living until in her early 90s and she was still pretty independent. Thank goodness there were people she connected with, she had a group to play cards with every night. She lived there 5+ more years.

I know not everyone is financially in a place where they can move into the facilities of their choice, but the longer people wait to even downsize it just get s harder and harder and gives them less time to establish relationships in a new place.

I really hope my neighborhood ends up being this. Life things happen, so who knows, but a number of us who call each other friend are kinda inclined to never move again. And really, we could always put up a ramp at one end and run a walkway across the entire row of porches....

Today was better than last monday, but that's not saying much. Getting a meeting at 3 called at 1 is rarely auspicious. And I have 4 hrs of meetings tomorrow. Anf I have 2 miniprojects to finish this week. Somehow.

If more people discussed the senior issues before they were there it might help, although it may still be tough to recognize you are there.

Cool! We'll be going there, too.

We climbed Cotopaxi. It was the most amazing experience. Each of us made it do a different altitude. As in could not manage to go one step further. The kids went the furthest. Me next and DH behind us. We told the kids they could go all the way to the steaming rim knowing full well that would never happen. Kids raised in Florida are not going to get over 19,000 feet in one day.

I think I need to schedule regular nights that I go out and do stuff, whether or not I can make plans with others.

I am thinking maybe every other Thursday. Maybe I start next week.

That sounds like a good idea, msbelle.

Do it. I mean, I'm really grateful for wine night tonight. Yes, I was and still am in a shitty mood. And yes, because of our various issues, this was an abnormally short wine night (S's in election season down in Annapolis,J had a lesson/practice session and had to bug out, I'm in a crapass mood, K had work nightmares and insomnia last night and we were all having low level maybe-sick?-unease.) Hell, we only killed 3 bottles of wine which is a new low, but it helped to try.

That sounds like a great idea , msbelle.

and really, for men of a certain age - going into an assisted living facility can be great. My grandfather was very popular at 90. when he died, his girlfriend reassured my mom that they didn't 'do anything' but read the bible together. ( at 93 if he could have done anything - go granddad)

Anyway - my plan , if no one makes a compound in Niles , that is a plan when I get old. unfortunately I'll be working a little longer

I think it's a great idea, msbelle. One of the things I miss about my stretch class is getting out of the house a couple times a week for just me-time.