Aurelia, Ginger is correct. Thanks to both of you. And everyone else who has helped. It's been quite the experience (All I have left, I think, is getting hug pictures and a shitton of video editing). Once all of this is over, I will be posting the photos and videos that we made.

However, I am pretty sure that if there is a random fire in my office the first thing I will do is open the door to leave....

In at least one hospital, you're supposed to close patients into their rooms, since all the doors are highly rated for fireproofness.

I love the internet, because I don't have enough face to face conversations that go here:

I think I'd almost prefer having ants in my head than any orifice. The idea of them crawling, tiny feet tickling tender membranes as their mandibles seek a way to enlarge their new found home is just too disturbing to contemplate, even if the idea does find sweet, sweet relief when the anteater's tongue provides salvation.

Yeah, that was a sex thing.

I bought a (cheap) clock from Zulily and the hour hand is so random that sometimes I think it's an hour slow, and sometimes it looks on time. Right now, the hour hand is implying 12:50, while the minute hand is behaving as it should.

even if the idea does find sweet, sweet relief when the anteater's tongue provides salvation.

...Huh.

So, if I get a phone call from a number I don't recognize (701 area code) telling me, in a voice mail, that they're calling from a debt collection agency, and telling me to call an entirely different number (855 area code)... that's definitely a scam, right? Especially since they didn't use my name or any other identifying details, and I'm pretty damn sure neither M nor I have any debts that have gone to collections?

It might not be a scam.

I had that happen and it turned out to be an identity theft. 4,000 phone calls later it was resolved. The whole thing was just delightful.

Yikes, Trudy. How did you find out? *goes to check bank balance*

Called the number. Got abused a bit. They were very nasty about the credit card that "I" had opened, run up a bunch of charges on, and abandoned.

Eep. I was hoping I could get away with not calling them back. I googled both numbers and didn't come up with anything, just a string of websites like badnumbers.com and who-is-calling-me.info.

You can check your credit report and see if anyone opened up a credit card.

If/when you do call them, don't give them any information but your name and tell them to send you something in the mail.

Then send them a "leave me alone, bill collectors" letter and deal with the vendor directly.