my boss is cleaning out his desk y'all!! omg, such a good day.
'Underneath'
Natter 72: We Were Unprepared for This
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
BTW, feeling uncomfortable and or afraid around people expressing anger, also valid feelings.
I am such a Californian in some ways.
BTW, feeling uncomfortable and or afraid around people expressing anger, also valid feelings
Absolutely.
I am uncomfortable and or afraid around people expressing anger, and yet? I am SO ANGRY myself. I think most of my depression/anxiety is from not being able to deal with my own anger.
I recommend certain martial arts and boxing classes for getting out anger. Punching a big bag is GOOD TIMES.
In one of our neighboring towns, I recently discovered that my favorite barista is also a krav maga instructor. The SO's therapist is in that town, so I joked that we'd go there and he could do talk therepy and I could hit people and we'd both come out happier.
Timelies all!
Spring seems to have arrived here. After a foggy morning, the sun is shining and it's warm(well, 50s, but I'll take that). I'm still giving March the side-eye for all the snow.
Some days I want to go to a flea market and buy old dishes for change, so I could smash them, but I would have to clean them up, which seems less cathartic.
I was pretty much the one who taught my family how to get angry and survive it. Before that, it was you never express anger to each other, and you never even directly address the source of your anger (talking to other people instead), but there was a whole lot of flipping the bird at other drivers or railing at the IRS or whatever.
Signed, Also Has Much Anger
My sister and I acrapped a lot when we were kids, but it was...scrapping. I never really saw my dad angry -- he'd get PISSED, sure, but even when he was drunk (and he was a drunk until I was 10) he was a happy drunk.
I get pissy about stuff, and snark and gripe, make grandeloquent threats leavened with humor, but I just don't get angry very often. Because it's UG.LY. It's not fiery or loud, it's cold, cold evil anger that wants to hurt people because it's pleasurable. I say soul-destroying shit, but I never allow myself to touch people when I'm angry because I really fear I might actual kill someone. I've only gotten that enraged 3 times in my life, and each time,it was someone fucking with my family.
I'm very good about feeling myself level up to fury and telling people to walk away from me and leave me the fuck alone to ratchet myself down. I can tell what's frustration or hurt, and deal with that appropriately, for the most part, and I get frustrated by people who can't do the same. That's not fair, I know, but I'm all "If I turn into Satan's worst child when I'm truly angry, and I can turn around and walk out the door, then when you flip the fuck out about socks on the floor, I kinda want to hit you with a toaster."
I mean, I get it. Frustration sucks. Losing your shit can feel really good. But being around people who are flipping the hell out about petty, small shit just makes me so uncomfortable -- I mean, it never makes anything better and I cannot, CANNOT stand people who do this around kids. One of the reasons I cannot stand my husband's ex is that she is so angry and mean and bitter around her kids ALL THE TIME. The one time I stayed at her house, she and her current husband were so nasty to each other, in front of me, and the kids, and I was just so flabbergasted. She goes on and on about vitamins and prattles on about whether we let M have an occasional Coke or watch TV too much, yet he lives all the time with this fear of his mom flipping into a rage-mammal? All the quinoa in the world won't fix that.
Hubby has been spreading the gospel of Grouping Therapy to his tribe of chemo patients, ie, going to the shooting range and making loud noises, as a way to cope with the frustrations of cancer treatment. It may not be as popular in other parts of the country as it is in the Old/New West.
ION, I think I managed not to let my customer know how idiotic I found it that she didn't know what time zone she was in. We had to reset the time on her computer, and I had to ask her what state she was in so I could reset it properly. I'm afraid the horrified note slipped out a little into my voice.