The Cratchit children are twerking. How much longer does this show run?

I don't like the sound of that.

You know what's awesome? I keep thinking, "I wish I had a little something sweet," and then remembering I have Mallomars!!

OK, the other day I was walking down the street and a woman coming out of the Gristede's asked me where she might buy some wine. I pointed her toward a liquor store that has a nice selection.

She said, "Thanks, I'm from Ohio. We just get wine at the grocery store."

I nearly BIT MY TONGUE OFF not saying "And you have food year 'round!" I had to run away before I started laughing. I'm laughing now. It was SO HARD to not stand there and tell this total stranger the whole story. I wanted to grab her by the hand and show her Mallomars.

My office is across the hall from the young performer dressing rooms.

I nearly BIT MY TONGUE OFF not saying "And you have food year 'round!" I had to run away before I started laughing. I'm laughing now. It was SO HARD to not stand there and tell this total stranger the whole story. I wanted to grab her by the hand and show her Mallomars.

OHIO FOOD SOLIDARITY!

We saw Mallomars in a Safeway in California on our honeymoon, and I realized I had never told Tim the story. When I was done, he asked, "Were you being a dick, or horribly socially anxious and just started talking?"

I said, "Well, I *am* a dick, but I wasn't trying to be right then. I was just really nervous, since it was the first time I had met any of these folks in person."

Then he asked, "But they still mock you, right?"

"Oh HELL yes, they do. *I* mock myself!"

"Well, that's okay, then."

It just popped out of your mouth. That's part of why it was so funny. We were ALL awkward.

And you can mock me for thinking Mallomars were somehow ubiquitous. Who KNEW Nabisco had regional things? I certainly did not.

In the end you learnt of the 'Mar and that's all that matters.

A guy at 7-11 mumbled a request for a place to buy something, turns out after I promoted him that was looking for a knife to "cut something". I almost asked if if he needed it right there and then, because my leatherman was in the car. Many horrible visions flashed through my brain and do I sent him to the grocery store for a kitchen knife.

I probably shouldn't start calling people on Tumblr stupid, should I? But I have no other words to describe the OH NOES VACCINES ARE EVIL AND WILL CAUSE THE END OF TEH WORLD!!!1 people.

I think of Steph every time I see Mallomars. Which is only part of the year.

I am pretty sure that's an appropriate and acceptable use of the word Jilli.

Oh lord -- TLC has Xmas-tree obsessed collectors on....

Ruh Roh. If I ever end up hoarders, it will be me in a house with two cats and three million Xmas ornaments.