So good.

Timelies all!

Bleah. I'm fighting a cold.

I finally ended up having a talk with ED about boss lady. Good talk. Made me hopeful. Now I just need to pin down the boss lady and have another talk, and be frank and vulnerable and humble. Something the ED said really struck a chord in me, about how, being through what I've been through, so many ups and downs and going through bosses like kleenex, the way to weather all that is to stay safe, but in order to make positive change, I need to be unsafe, and put myself out there for confrontation and frank conversation about how I feel about our professional relationship. And I can see that, because that is fucking scary to me, and staying safe (bottling everything up and having polite passive aggressive battle of wills) is the wrong way to go.

The humble part comes from me letting go of my "I know how this shit is done, I've been doing it way longer than you, and I'm frightened that if I don't, you'll fuck shit up that I already know how to not fuck up" and just allowing her to make her own mistakes, and he's given me permission allowed to let that happen. So.

OMG, I am fucking exhausted -- an interview at the end of the day is hard! Also, I got so screwed by the cab company, I was late, which was mortifying, but I still think they like me. Apparently the staff really liked me last week, so we'll see what the boss thought today.

Fingers crossed, Jesse

Knock wood, J-dogg.

I just outed my art self to a co-worker who's a brilliant artist. Like, not my doodling stuff, but my portrait-a-day photography. He was trying to brace me that his art is seriously weird, but I think me stressing he'd never see some of mine EVER helped open that barrier. His stuff is fascinating--I felt adrift and... well, Amy knows what kind of insecurity I bring to the party. In spades.

And the questions he asked me about my photographs--he's really into this. He's an artists who does IT to pay the bills. He's really about story and experience and dedicated to craft. It's impressive and not a little uninspiring.

Now to see if I can scrape together anything PG on my tablet to show him.

Whoa, Blockbuster: [link]

I can think of lots of things you could show him! No idea if they're on your tablet, though.

Jesse, fingers crossed! Second interviews are a good thing.

We started a new test cycle at work, and my manager sent an email to the group: "Please validate your defects."

I spent the rest of the day resisting the urge to reply, "You want a note from my doctor, or my family, or both?"

I hope you get good news, Jesse.

Uhg, I cooked up some cauliflower soup tonight. That's not the uhg. The uhg is I don't like the house smelling of onion and shallots. Correction, I don't mind it for a few hours, but after that, it just reminds me of sweat. Luckily, warm enough I can open up the windows. I wish my oven vent actually vented outside.