sj, that food all sounds delish! Nom.

meara, my sistah. I was just talking about this with a friend, she and her youngun broke up, too. I'm just so ready to be partnered and settled, and I know it's not something that can be hurried, but I'm still impatient. Now? Is it now? How about now? Now is good for me.

The guy I'm currently talking to on OKC seems super cool in a dorky way: fixes up old cars, plays cello, works in IT, digs Joss Whedon. But he's divorced less than a year and wants to "keep things light for a while," which I totally understand. But but but. When will it be my turn? Blah. I am thankful for my fantastic friends and family, I am. Not the same thing, though.

I could be wrong, smonster, but I don't think you want that. Haven't your last two guys done the "keep things light" schtick?

D wasn't so much keeping things light as he just wasn't in love with me. That was StW who didn't want a relationship. And B before him. And yeah, that's why I haven't met up with this dude yet. It's just frustrating.

I don't think guys really want to "keep it light". If they're dating at all, they're looking for someone special. If they found their someone, they wouldn't be "keeping it light" with her. That is just their getaway card.

That is just their getaway card.

It's all about the plausible deniability.

Hey David, I hate to bug you on Father's Day (Happy Day, by the way!) but I'm wondering if I can ask you an HR question.

Actually, I'll happily throw it open to any interested party.

Background...on Friday, I had a brief, private conversation with an employee of the pet care company (during a staff meeting) about a bit of bad customer service. It was a quiet, civil discussion in which I made a suggestion for a different way to deal with the issue if it ever comes up again. We parted on what I thought were good terms.

An hour later, he stormed into the owner's house screaming, saying that he quit and demanding an apology from me and from the client who complained about him. (Keep in mind, it is actually my job to deal with client complaints and, in this case, I was not unsympathetic to the employee's upset, but he didn't tell us about the issue at the time and, as a result, we could not help him.

He screamed and swore, on a loop, for about a half hour. He threatened to 'track that bitch down', meaning the client who quite rightly complained. He called me names. He must have said he quit 9 or 10 times.

Then, without resolution, he stormed out.

I advised the owner to retrieve the dogs currently in the fellow's care because he was so enraged, it was unclear what he might do.

Apparently, he has 'a habit' of quitting and has done so many times before, but never this violently.

Since Friday, he has threatened to call other clients,and to throw away the keys in his possession.

Today, he has threatened legal action because, "A key factor of my longevity [he's been HIV+ for decades] is believed to be to my reducing as much stress in my life as possible. I want to state that the incident bought on by [my name] was and continues to be very very stressful."

In addition, he is claiming expenses for flea abatement in his house, which he never mentioned before and carpet cleaning costs which again...he did not mention needing until AFTER he went off the rails.

He is a 1099 with the company.

The company owner's husband is advising her to pay him off. I am unsure, given the irrational nature of his behavior, that it will do any good.

I did call the customer who complained and asked that, if he contacts her in any way, she should not engage and call the police.

My question: Does it even qualify as termination if he repeatedly stated that he quit and left on that note?

My question: Does it even qualify as termination if he repeatedly stated that he quit and left on that note?

Sure, though you still have to process it at your end. Just note that it was a voluntary resignation, witnessed by others. Make a note to that fact. Note also that he was erratic and out of control and threatening violence.

Scrappy could probably give you more detailed information.

All you really need to do is document it thoroughly.

You just have to write up a memo noting what happened: "Employee resigned on the spot, before these people (who all sign off on it). Employee's behavior was erratic and threatening violence."

Thanks, David. That's pretty much what I thought.

I had already advised the owner to write up a chronological account of what happened and keep it on file in case the employee actually gets a lawyer.

It's alarming to me that supervision equals grounds for legal action in his mind.

I will give myself credit that, during the lengthy rant, replete with threats and spitting and name calling, I never once lost my cool. "You say I reprimanded you. Okay. What felt like a reprimand?"

Of course there was no response, but that just led to more yelling and how it was all my fault. Oh, and the client who was 'out to get him.'

How sad that we live in a culture now where anything you don't like gives you the right to lose all sense of decorum.

I should mention, this fellow is NOT young. At all. So he doesn't even have the 'kids today' excuse.

Damn, bonny, I'm sorry you have to deal with all this. And this is a different guy than the one who stabbed you in the back previous?

I am so damn cranky. I have work to do and no energy or motivation to do it, and I'm dreading work tomorrow because apparently my coworkers resent me for doing anything (even work related) that pulls my focus from working on the windows. I think everyone's tempers are at the flashpoint from this heat, but it's frustrating to me that they're apparently getting pissed when I'm trying to *help us* by keeping things running more smoothly. It's not like I'm sitting in an air conditioned office or sipping mojitos by a pool - I'm still sweating my ass off. And not saying anything, and just getting more and more passive aggressive... ugh. I think I'm going to send E an email today checking in with her. We have the opportunity to do what we want with this, if all of us work together.

Meara, smonster, I feel you, and I also think you are probably great dates.