Happy Birthdays, Pix and Maria!

I'm a little reluctant to jump in here because I have my own birth family issues involving parents who wanted me to be happy as long as I lived life the way they saw fit. But when I saw Sean say,

Looks like the "Go Back to School" plan is going to be aborted before it even starts, because "I don't have a plan that he can see."

Sean, for what it is or isn't worth, anyone who would walk out on a family, including a 3-year-old son, without an airtight reason (say, longterm hospitalization) doesn't deserve an opinion on how other people lives their lives.

Sean, for what it is or isn't worth, anyone who would walk out on a family, including a 3-year-old son, without an airtight reason (say, longterm hospitalization) doesn't deserve an opinion on how other people lives their lives.

I don't know your dad, but it does sound like he wants to pass judgment on everything you do that doesn't fit his plan. But it's not his plan; it's YOUR plan.

Also, I honestly can't understand his comment that you "don't have a plan he can see." Uh, the plan is to get a fucking degree. That's fairly obvious. If he doesn't see that, and doesn't understand the utility of a degree in this society, well, he really isn't that smart, PhD or no. (Does he think he would have the job he has now without that degree? I mean, SERIOUSLY.)

It sucks that you don't have a father figure to listen to you and give you advice, but I gotta say, your dad's -- I don't want to call it "advice," because it's not, so let's call it "input" -- isn't worth a goddamn.

This is your path, not his.

Happy birthday to Pix and Maria!

Sean, you can do this. Pix is right about looking at scholarship options. And Steph is right, getting a degree IS a plan, and your father's input is just hurtful, so don't give it any weight.

Happiest of birthdays to Pix and Maria! May the year be as bright for you as you make yours around here!

(the grammar is bad, but the sentiment is sound)

So, like, mine is not the only family that rewrites their personal history?

Wow. Being the kid of a violent pedophile really teaches you stuff about the ephemeral nature of history and 'facts.'

Even amongst other family members.

My stepsister enjoys the benefits of personal brainwashing so well that when I brought up a time when my father (whitefonted for ick) pulled a chunk of my scalp off (by the long, long hair he insisted I wear) and drop it on her living room floor during a Christmas visit, she looked me straight in the eye and said, "That didn't happen."

She had to get down on her hands and knees, with ammonia, to scrub my blood out of the shag carpet ...but she doesn't remember it.

Right.

Happy bday to Maria as well!!

Sean, if your fathers "input" was about having a major, tell him to bugger off. First, you don't need to declare that right away,and second, vast majority of people do not have jobs in their field of study from undergrad. It's about getting a degree with broad topics of study.

To build on what omnis said, Sean, you can go into any program 'declared' for a specific major and then change it as you go along.

As an undergrad, I went in declared for journalism...and completed that course of study, but finished with an additional BS in "Soviet Dissident Literature" (not even kidding) because my love of history got me there without even trying.

As may be obvious, I don't do work in either one of those fields anymore, but the study serves me in everything I do.

get the degree.

round about story:

my friend L has a son named M about 22. his first serious gf is pushing for a big commitment. I told L to take advantage of the fact that gf likes his family and convince her that she needs to get a degree before family and kids. GF is from a broken dysfunctional home and she supports her alcoholic father. I told L to tell gf that she needs the degree so she has more options for herself, and her future family.

So get the degree. people that were hired at my library 10 years ago , would not have a chance now. Most of our pages have some amount of college. ( 1/2 are in the process of getting a degree) ( the few that don't are older and have worked at other libraries) Yes, to put away books at the library - a degree.

BTW, if you haven't looked at city and county websites for jobs - look. A lot of part time jobs have benefits. and a lot of places have temporary assignment pools for clerk/aa type positions

The worst part is, I could really use some actual fatherly advice right now. But the two men I replaced him with are both dead and buried. I always miss them something fierce at times like this.

So many hugs for you Sean. And get the damned degree. You can do it.

I would like to volunteer my Barndad (and my mom) for parenting. They're always happy to have new people, especially people I like, and Barndad has been very patient and loving with my skeptical ass. (I absolutely gave him the shovel talk when he and my mom got engaged, and this was before I Had People.) (Of course, my People start with M, who's adopted him as dad, which is good, because M's dad was as shitty as they come.)

Hugs for everyone, in fact.

Happy Birthdays to Pix & Maria!!!