People have been praising me for being so strong, which I find weird. I mean, what are my options, abandoning him in a crisis? Not helping him with scheduling treatments and transport? I don't think it's strong to be doing--and not doing--what I think any honorable spouse should be doing--and not doing--in such a situation.
There are plenty of people who abandon their loved ones, literally or emotionally, when things get too tough for them to deal. Strong isn't not crying in a heap on the floor; it's getting up again and doing what you need to. I know lots of people who are just not emotionally capable of dealing with overwhelmingly scary things.
Amiee, my heart breaks for Em, but I'm so glad she's got the mother and father she's got, and friends that will stick with her.
Does Em have any on-line peeps? I know my childhood would have been a different world if I had.
Aims, I'd love to send Em a card.
Toddson - She actually has a bunch of purses. And she loves lions and dogs and cats and horses and bunnies and basically any animal, as is fitting for a 9 year old.
And I never know what hte proper response to "Oh, you're so strong!" is. Thank you?
Yes, although if it truly bothers you, you can ask to not be praised for supporting your husband through this crisis, and I'm sure those around you will respect your wishes.
I'll admit I heard a lot of "you're so strong" last semester, and while I often felt it was unearned (I wasn't feeling strong, I was feeling like a hot mess), it didn't bother me. I do think it takes strength sometimes to do what simply needs to be done.
There are plenty of people who abandon their loved ones, literally or emotionally, when things get too tough for them to deal. Strong isn't not crying in a heap on the floor; it's getting up again and doing what you need to. I know lots of people who are just not emotionally capable of dealing with overwhelmingly scary things.
Yeah, but it is kind of awkward to respond to. And I'll admit on particularly bad days it made me want to flip out in a "well who the fuck is going to be if I'm not" kind of way. That probably has more to do with my own issues as an oldest sibling.
I personally hate it when people praise my handling of my disability.
I guess I don't personally value the strength of endurance as highly as I do the strength of action. I find it easier to hunker down and endure rather than striving on and accomplishing things that are hard. Amazing the ways we find to beat ourselves up.
People have been praising me for being so strong, which I find weird. I mean, what are my options, abandoning him in a crisis?
Not the same thing, but I've been dealing with my mom's Dr appts and IV meds and stuff around her current health situation, and while I do find the idea that I wouldn't be there for her when she needs me reprehensible, I do still appreciate it when one of her sisters or her friends thanks me, because it has been kind of draining. So though there's no way I wouldn't have done it, I appreciate that someone's acknowledging it. (It is a little awkward, and I usually just say thanks). So, maybe don't think of it as thanks or praise of your strength or whatever, but just someone acknowledging that you're going through something as well as him.
I personally hate it when people praise my handling of my disability.
Ditto.
These are kind of funny - like, what were your other options? Fetal position in the corner for life?
I have a friend who was badly injured in a fire and when she got engaged she told me but asked me not to say anything because she didn't want the media to get hold of it. I teased her - "Why, because you're so BRAVE? But you're such AN INSPIRATION!" (I'm not sure when they got hold of it, but sure enough her wedding did get a half page article in the paper).
Aims, please feel free to pop your address to my profile addy - I have ever so many cards with cute animals and such that would be happy to have a purpose.
