Take catharsis where you can but try and keep it away from your job.

Ok, I'm feeling a bit triumphant. I think I just won a round of office politics very handily.

On Saturday, the house I was at has a house manager, T, who is a bit more "my way or the highway" than is ideal in this field, particularly with the individuals who live there. Especially since the company philosophy for these homes is much more "this is THEIR house, not ours" than some places. T has been talking about repainting - having gotten permission from the landlords (who happen to be the parents of one of the people living there) to do so. She is really excited about a particular color scheme she picked out.

She picked it out.

I had not realized until Saturday that she had not so much as shown the paint colors she picked to the people who live there. T showed me the swatches of paint, and then when the new (as in, has not completed initial training and was there to read up on individuals' files) supervisor came in, she showed her as well. It just so happened that M, one of the people who live there, came out and saw the swatches. She did not like one of the colors chosen, and protested mightily. In front of new supervisor, M staked her claim, "This is my house, and I say we are not having the walls painted that color!"

(Now, I'm not going to claim that this is a respectful, calm, tactful way to make such a point, but the point is there to be made.)

T responded by saying, "No, this isn't your house, it's the [landlords] house. This decision has already been made and approved by [Regional Director]."

I intervened by saying, "I think M has a right to a vote on the choice of colors."

It got even more heated after that. By which I mean that M got loud and angry, while T stayed calm but did not budge on her position. We redirected M to talking about how she might like to decorate her bedroom, and that helped to calm her.

But it really bothered me.

So on Sunday when T was not around I composed an email to her and CC'ed the Regional Director who has been acting as supervisor until the new one gets trained in. I thought about also CC'ing the woman who is in charge of training (who has also been helping out with supervision) and the new Supervisor, but I didn't. The gist of the email was "I'd like to advocate for a different way to chose the colors for the living room. While I understand [landlords] concern that the colors chosen be appropriate, I think it could work if we showed them a selection of colors and allow them to disqualify any they think are not appropriate. We then take the remaining selections and show them to the individuals who live there. This may be more consistent with [company philosophy that this is THEIR house] and will allow them to take more ownership of the redecoration process as well as to feel more pride and pleasure in their home." (And I included an idea for a tie-breaker in case there was not immediate agreement.)

I don't usually check my work email while I'm at home, but curiosity overcame me. Regional Director replied and CCed the trainer and the new Supervisor that this is a lovely idea and we should proceed with this course of action.

Yeah, I can see there are some ways that T can make things unpleasant for me if she feels all butthurt about not getting her way, but... well... I've been there for 8 years, and we've had 3 house managers at that location in the last 12 months. If there is one thing I know this business it's that when I don't like a coworker, all I have to do is wait.

Well done, Andi!

This was an alternative to going to the Regional Director and saying, "I have a problem with T, here's what happened..." and making her directly look bad. Also, I toyed with going to the trainer and saying, "apparently this house needs a refresher in training in the company philosophy and the behavior strategies we are supposed to employ to put it into practice because we have lots of new people who don't know it and I am apparently crap at mentoring them in it," with a hope that I could bring up "How to Help People Pick Paint Colors for Their Living Room" as a topic.

Thanks, Scrappy!

Very diplomatically handled, Andi.

I'm trying hard to use some diplomacy in a family situation and it is hard as heck to try to remain unemotional and just present logical options. I would rather throw a temper tantrum and say my way or the highway. Being an adult sucks sometimes.

That is definitely hard work, Suzi.

Word from Hubby: More tests next week. Joy. But I'll take that to mean that there are options. No wonder he has cancer, the amount of radiation and chemicals that have been pointed at his body.

Yeah, I like the guestimate of "there are options". Seems reasonable to me.

Just talked to him. Not so much options as "how bad is this going to be for your heart? We need an echocardiogram. Oh, we should look at your bone marrow, too." He hates needles so much.

The chemo is going to be every three weeks and rough enough that it will require overnight admission to a hospital in Salt Lake. Granted, it's supposed to be the world's best cancer center--or way up there--but I wish it would be closer to home. 6 to 10 courses, then hopefully not again for 5-7 years. Depending on how much damage this does to his heart, of course.

He's currently taking a glass of wine and the cat to bed.