I have two, but can't fit into either!

flea, every time I work at my friends' consignment shop, I say the same thing. If only this was in my size, I'd totally wear it!

bonny, don't keep close you can't fit into. Clear it out.

I'm picturing Mr. Butswinkas as being some fabulous type who puts a hip thrust into saying his name: "Hi, my name's But (thrust)SWINkus."

Trudy,

are you in your email yet?

If I had no access to email, I would burn everything down. So much of what I do is email-based. I couldn't even imagine. I'm actually anxious on your behalf.

I'm too late for the little girl discussion, but in re velvet dresses for grown-ups, I just went looking and it appears that Coldwater Creek is having a 40% off everything sale today until midnight, including a pretty basic, simple velvet dress (second item on this page). I have a similar one, in purple, that I've had for at least 15 years. Pretty, dress-up-or-down-able, and apparently, as dresses go, nigh invulnerable. [link]

All unworn black (or red!) velvet dresses in a size 14 that need a new home can come live with me. IJS.

Nope, still no email. Between no email, few phone numbers, and a laptop where CDE and 3 keep sticking I'm going a slightly mad.

Humorous complication though. Yesterday in the midst of all the fun I developed a migraine. It was icky but not epic and with a dark, quiet, room, pain killers and eating nothing but toast so I wouldn't puke I managed to beat it back far enough that I could come to work today.

So today I'm holding it at bay... it keeps trying to creep back in but so far so good. Still an effort to not puke, but manageable pain. Until dun dun dunnnnnn -- nature called.

So I had to poop. And I kept putting it off, because I knew it would make my head go bananas. Finally I did my best to time an Excedrin peak and juuuust the right amount of toast in my tum. And I'm in the ladies room trying to not...exert too much. And trying to not barf. And trying to not start laughing because a) that's only going to make things worse and; b) cracking up in a bathroom stall is only rarely appropriate.

It's been a day.

cracking up in a bathroom stall is only rarely appropriate.

With smartphones, I would just assume someone was surfing the web. And I would REALLY need to believe that.

t venting (no need for hairpats/brackets, etc)

Friday, had another hemorrhoid procedure. Three days later, and it's still annoying me. When the doc was up in my business, he said it was a "superficial one", which explained why it was close to nerve endings and hurting. I joked, saying "take it to college, and it's still a superficial pain in the ass", which got a good chuckle.

In the meantime, the damn thing is a BIG pain in the ass right now. Sitting is uncomfy. Walking is uncomfy. Hard to concentrate. Blah.

Work is super slow. I'm an inch away from saying half day and using sick hours.

OK, if I rant anymore, it will get into gory details, that would need double layer of spoiler font. Since we don't have that, I'll leave the rant at that.

t /vent

ps: growing old sucks.

pps: eat your fiber, people. TRUST ME!