I don't think instilling basic life skills (laundry, cooking, amusing oneself quietly) in children (at an age-appropriate time--no deep fat frying at age 2) is neglect. You're supposed to be raising kids to become adults some day. They don't magically know how to measure out laundry detergent when they turn 18.

I agree completely with this. Both the boys were doing their laundry as soon as they were tall enough and started cooking as soon as they could comprehend. It was part my not really wanting to crawl under beds for stinky boy socks and not feeling I had to satisfy every food craving of rapidly growing boys. Primarily I wanted them to be independent. I didn't know how to do a lot of stuff when I moved out because I had a stay at home mom. They have had checking accounts for a long while for that reason too. No helpless creatures here.

They weren't neglected as such, but as small business owners they grew up in our office. Bobby was on my desk full time when he was 7 days old. No maternity leave for me. They stayed at the office until they were 2 then off to pre-school. After school was the office.

I wasn't actually neglected, by the way. I used the word because Barbara E. used it (humorously, I thought.) My parents both worked and we were pretty self sufficient from an early age.

I love the custom viewmaster idea.

Much date~ma, Omnis.

Date ~ma, omnis!

As a child I existed in a state of benign neglect. It would've been great to be taught to do shit.

Oh, I like the custom viewmaster idea too.

I love the custom viewmaster idea.

I think it's cute as hell, and totally old-school, yo.

(I will say I really don't like the term "white trash," I think it's the only derogatory term for whites that's even in the same universe as the n word and it's directed pretty much exclusively at poor people. And calling people trash just seems wrong. They're still God's creatures. It's hard, though, when confronted with that level of bigotry. YMMV.)

I see your point. Personally, it's my go-to word for people of low class - no manners, no idea how to function in polite society - but not necessarily low socioeconomic status. I'll have to re-think my use of that term.

The African-American mom kept her cool and seemed unfazed. She was more upset that the school didn't notify her of the first incident. Our principal made the call to not notify parents the first time in the hopes that the sitch had been nipped in the bud and wouldn't continue to be an issue.

This has been my first go-round with being on the front lines of navigating issues with parents. 'Tis interesting.

Date~ma, o-a!

Parents are so very often blind to their kid's true nature. I don't know how diplomatic I could be dealing with clueless parents.

The kids were self sufficient because of many reasons, including their own natures. I had a lot of guilt associated with being a working parent after being raised by a stay at home mom, but none of it was related to teaching them to take care of themselves. More the guilt of not having the hours in the day for all the scouts and zoo trips and picnics in the back yard and all the hands on I thought I should have done. At this point I doubt either kid would accuse me of neglect, but they would both say I work too much.

Also loving Viewmaster idea.

This round of pain + panic attack can DIAF any time now. I'm going to go lie on a heating pad.

but none of it was related to teaching them to take care of themselves.

I get totally that she used the word neglect to be humorous but I think kids being able to make their own food when provided with well-stocked pantries and refrigerators and doing their own laundry in the washer and dryer in your home that has both electricity and supplies provided isn't neglect so much as learning life skills.

This round of pain + panic attack can DIAF any time now. I'm going to go lie on a heating pad.

Mine is pain and anger/anxiety. Yeah, they really can go DIAF.