I didn't want to subject him to this immediately after he put a ring on it. Bah.

You know that Tim's a smart man who made an informed choice. (That's not a question--I know you know). You didn't slip a hood over the most charming guy in the parking lot and roofie him into marrying you. He had a lot of time to decide that even though he hasn't seen everything, the stuff he's seen is so fucking awesome that the less than radically awesome stuff is totally worth it, and that the as yet unexperienced parts are worth it too, whatever the ratio of upcoming awesome:huh did not see that coming is.

He's a rational adult who said he wants to do this long long term. That's some of what the ring was for. It should be a safety blanket for the anti-depressant issues you're about to embark on. Dating rules don't have to say "in (mental or below the neck) sickness and in health" but it's implied with most weddings whether stated or not. It's part of the point.

The honeymoon is not there to be perfect. It's there to be the both of you and not the real world. Go, leave the real world behind, and take all the sleep meds you need. And when you come back, get good doctors.

t /end of tl/dr that I want you to know, but you don't have to read

I spent a week leaving messages with my sleep docs trying to tell them that I'd hit my acclimation with Lunesta and needed to switch to Ambien, and after 6 days got a call back saying "Sure! Switch to Ambien!" at which point I took a sec to blow a gasket and call back and grit out "PRESCRIBE ME THE FREAKING AMBIEN THEN--WHO SPENDS A WEEK ASKING YOU FOR PERMISSION TO TAKE A MEDICATION THEY'VE TAKEN MULTIPLE TIMES BEFORE AND HAVE ALREADY? NOT THIS PATIENT, FYI."

I spent three weeks trying to get my migraine doctor to write me a script for his pain meds since I couldn't pick it up the normal week during their hours. But despite repeatedly telling them why I couldn't do it when they expected, and asking way way in advance, they still didn't write the script until the day after the last day I could pick it up during their office hours. And the first day they said someone would stay late for me, no office staff was there and the doctor that eventually wandered by couldn't find it. THIS IS FUCKING MONTHLY.

Next week is my appointment with my pain doctor for which I'm preparing a "Do you feel I deserve to have my pain treated?" speech that I am honestly going to type up before I go.

Yay, medical practitioners.

ita is wise

I don't understand what is wrong with some doctors. Again, when there was a chance that an eye surgery had gone wrong, my doctor STAYED 2 HOURS PAST WHEN SHE WAS DUE TO GO HOME to check it out. And these fucking pain and migraine and allergy and what have you specialists can't even keep their prescription scrips up to date?

Aw for fuck's sake, ita, it makes me so angry the way they treat you. Broken system.

Stupid crappy non-professional medical professionals.

I remain baffled that doctors whose whole professional purpose is to treat pain don't comprehend what pain patients are dealing with. Type it, ita !, and if necessary just hand it to him to read. And put in your file.

Bad night. Having to drink with new co-workers hasn't helped. I feel like I've failed at every personal relationship I've ever tried to have.

It's times like this that one is sharply reminded that alcohol is in fact a depressant.

The good news is, you really, truly, chemically, will feel better once it has worked its way out of your system.

What in the almighty fuck, ita. Unfreakingbelievable. I don't understand.

Need to whinge for a second. Got off of work early and weather cleared up so I was thinking of going to see some free music that I usually can't make. But I have another migraine, or more of the same, not sure. I took my meds today, so it's not that. Water and food aren't helping. Lying on the floor doing acupressure didn't help, and it almost always does, at least a little.

Next steps are a shower, a bit more food and bed with the heating pad. Getting really tired of this.

On the gratitude side of things, we managed to get in almost a full day of work despite the rain and I got done what I wanted to in admin stuff this morning. So that's good.

Jilli, I was offline for your ~ma request, but I hope it went well!

When I have weird symptoms that I haven't had before, I should not google them. Google thinks I have shingles. (I'm pretty sure I don't have shingles. No idea what I do have, though.)