Except for the episodes of psychosis, I'm more than happy with this pre/peri/pseudo menopause thing.

Tom, in Newark. Though I don't think she's plannin to actually live THERE, since Cory booker might not be her mayor. ;)

I'll be happy to be done with the peri part

FUCK YES. I swear, I had six weeks of period, then two months without...who knows what shenanigans are around the next corner? (It will be the flashes, I predict, and since I already have migrainey hot flashes...yay....)

But, in general, I'm in less pain than before, even if the headaches aren't affected (part of me is praying that menopause kills my migraines like it did my mother's--but since I remember her mother's headaches, I'm pretty sure it's not a genetic guarantee).

I figured different people have different ways that are easy for them to eat, and this one is pretty easy for me, and so far the times I've broken it have been pleasant, but not made me want to break it more (10 kernels of caramel corn (REAL SUGAR EVEN THOUGH SAME COWORKER SAID HE WANTED A BIGGER HEADACHE PICTURE THIS TIME) made me think "sucrose weird, popcorn tasty" instead of wanting more).

My goddamn ankle is hurting again. It was doing OK over the weekend, when I was resting it, but now that I'm back to work, it's back to hurting. I've got an appointment with the doctor on Thursday. And dealing with the pain is making me a lot less able to deal with other stuff. Not just things like cooking that I can't do because, by the time I'm done teaching for the day, I can't stand up for that long, but it's also just kind of sapped my "deal with stuff" mental energy. Little things feel like too much.

I'm scared. Teaching is what I love doing, and what I'm good at doing. What if I just can't keep up teaching full time because I'm in too much pain? I could probably be OK with teaching part-time, but I can't earn a living that way.

And, for some reason, I just got hit with a major craving for food from the vegan soul food restaurant in DC. I'm fairly certain that I can't get vegan soul food in central PA unless I cook it myself.

Oh. And WebAssign still isn't working.

Hil, is it just the standing that does it, or the walking from class to class? Could you sit? (forgive me if I'm asking stupid questions)

And dealing with the pain is making me a lot less able to deal with other stuff. Not just things like cooking that I can't do because, by the time I'm done teaching for the day, I can't stand up for that long, but it's also just kind of sapped my "deal with stuff" mental energy. Little things feel like too much.

Pain steals a lot of spoons, sometimes all of them. I wish I could FedEx you a whole silver set. I hope you can make it okay until your appointment.

Hil, is it just the standing that does it, or the walking from class to class? Could you sit? (forgive me if I'm asking stupid questions)

It's all of it. I could try using a walker for walking between classes. I think I could teach while sitting down if I had a good classroom setup with overhead projectors, but the classrooms I'm in this semester are crap.

Hil, you have a disability--the school is responsible for providing you with what you need in order to teach. Have you talked to HR about their lack of AMDA compliance?

And ignore if you aren't looking for solutions--I also just feel so much sympathy for your situation and am wishing you well.