My painkiller prescription was finally ready to be picked up this morning, over a WEEK after I asked for it, but I couldn't go before work, because a student wanted to meet with me, and could only meet in the morning. So I got to work, and then she didn't show up. And then getting all my work done took too long, and I didn't have time to get it after work. So, no painkillers. And I ran out of Advil, and I can't find my Tylenol, and I forgot to wear my hand splint today, so my hand is pretty badly swollen, and this is going to be a long night. And tomorrow is a midterm day, and it's all going to suck.

(Sorry. Lack of painkillers makes me whiny. Lack of painkillers for over a week makes me extremely whiny.)

It's been such an odd time.

My dementia patient died last weekend.

In a weird confluence, my contract with the family had come to an end just two days before. Since he'd had pneumonia, I chose not to tell him about that because, what good would that do.

After 21 months, I hardly know what to do with my Wednesdays now and I'm amazed at how persistent my muscle memory is. I can't seem to stop scanning tiny libraries for spy novels for him, or quit feeling like I should be reserving a zipcar, buying diabetic-friendly snacks, etc.

I wonder how long it will be before I'm not constantly in that mode.

His passing is not a sad thing. He didn't want to hang around and we'd come to the end of his cognitive upswing.

I'm proud of what we did together, and I'm honored to have known someone who did so many amazing things in this life and, in truth, I had no affection for him. No one did. Which is sad on the face of it, but he really didn't care.

I guess all I'm saying is, hug 'em while you got 'em.

Your student sucks, Hil. I would not prioritize her schedule over your health in the future. I hope you can get the meds and some relief today.

That's a familiar sounding feeling, beekaytee. After my dad died, I reacted similarly (except that I and several others loved him). I still see movies and books and think, "Dad would love this."

Hil, I hope you can get some relief soon.

Hil I hope you can get relief. And it doesn't seem like whining.

That's it, Calli. I keep thinking, "Oh, I should make a note to tell him_____," Or, why aren't the playing cards in my bag? He'll want____.

So weird. And, it says something about the way the mind works. Every time I have graduated anything, it has taken a long time to get out of 'fill in the blank mode'.

I would not prioritize her schedule over your health in the future.

Ugh, totally. I would be so bitter and sullen if she pulled that crap.

Not showing up for an appointment with a professor is unacceptable. When I attended college the prof had office hours, and if you couldn't meet them at that time, you were pretty much out of luck. I hope you get some pain relief soon, Hil. Can you switch to a 24 hour pharmacy?

Day 2 of Whole30. I'm still alive.

Today would have been Hubby's 60th birthday. My SIL sent me a "Happy 60th birthday, Big Bro!" message, followed with a How are you? message. It's her loss, too, she lost her big brother, she knew him longer than I did, but would it be rude for me to wait a day or two so I don't say "Gutted and weeping, thanks, how are you?" And to not acknowledge the birthday when I do contact her?

Oh, Connie. What a hard day. I think you should do whatever feels right to you. No doubt she was trying to be kind, but you still get to react however you react. Put yourself first here.