Maria, I managed to calm down without a breakdown, but my body image demons and parenting insecurities are going nuts today.

{{{sj}}} I am so sorry the body image demons and parenting insecurities are lying to you (they are lies, truly they are, as anyone who's met you or seen you and the radiant F. interact--even just in pictures--can confirm).

Thanks, JZ. But I need to lose weight again. This is likely why this happened.

Steph, I am so sorry for all his loved ones.

{{sj}} I get it, and unfortunately the parenting insecurities never go away, at least they don't if you are a caring loving parent. But that is really what ltc needs and she has that in abundance. I hear you on the weight thing too. My excess weight adds so many complications and all out misery to my life, and I punish myself continuously over it. It is the one damn thing in my life that I have complete control over, and I just don't control it. Which totally makes this mememe, when really I just want to give you hugs.

It is the one damn thing in my life that I have complete control over, and I just don't control it.

Honestly, the more I read - the less true this seems. People lose weight, but keeping it off Is much much harder.

be kind to yourselves, people.

I'm 5'2" and 265 pounds. I have been that weight for years and years. What I twit myself over is how unbendy I am. I just need to accept that my first few attempts at yoga etc are going to be awkward as hell and I'll feel like a particularly ungainly flailing cow until I can touch my toes again.

Connie, you might look around for classes that are intended for non-lithe bodies. They have some around here and I've been thinking of trying it out. I call it fat yoga but I can't remember what term they actually use.

I have a yoga DVD called "Megayoga" that's for fat people. It came with a book that's even more helpful because it has tips for how to modify poses if your belly is in the way (Child's Pose) or your boobs want to do their own thing (Downward Dog). Of course, my skinny, flat-chested mother stole* the book from me when she took a course to become certified to teach yoga.

*(I say "stole," but really I loaned it to her, because I figured she doesn't have the experience of trying to do yoga in a fat body, or even a medium body but with big boobs, and because of that, probably hadn't considered ways to modify poses for fat people. And she's used it quite a bit, so that makes me happy. But she hasn't returned it, which is why I stand by "stole.")

That's kind of awesome that she's using it, teppy! I can never figure out why I have the worst time moving from one particular position to another (don't remember the names) and have never determined if it's that my belly is too big or my arms are too short or I'm just moving slightly wrong of what.

Good for your mom, Steph. My last yoga class was taught by a small, slender person who led me into a position that took skin off my elbows. I asked for modifications to prevent that, and her response was, "Well, that never happens to me. So, I don't know what to tell you." Go yoga teachers looking beyond their own body types!