Yeah, that did not go well. I was snappy and teared up. Now he wants to have yet another offsite meeting about his expectations and how we can work together productively. Um, the first three don't seem to have helped much, please tell me why I should take an hour or two out of my one day off to sit down with him and be frustrated and cry? Especially since I don't get paid for that time and it doesn't seem to help.

Home from the "celebration of life" for Jim. It was steeped in fire fighter tradition, with bagpipes. I did ok until they played Amazing Grace. The service itself was interesting. The speakers were great but the paster delivered a full sermon on who goes to heaven and who goes to hell. Thankfully he didn't go off on you can't go to heaven if you kill yourself but I felt like it was pretty close to that. Very uncomfortable.

Now I'm home alone, having lunch and just decompressing. This evening I'm going to a school orientation with C for the school that he wants his daughter to attend.

Mom took us out for Mexican food tonight, and I am drunk on one margarita.

Yay Mexican and margaritas.

I'm down to actually 20 lbs than the last time I weighed at the dr.

So I told my boss most of what I said here, and he said it was actually a relief and then continued to micromanage me some more. But whatever. I need a new job, stat, but last time I went from the frying pan into the fire and I don't need to be hopping into a tire fire.

And now I am at Tom and Nora's and there is alcohol. So that's good.

virtual clinking glasses with the NOLA crew

I have rum and recorded tv to watch. Going to watch the Mary Tyler Moore stuff later probably too.

(x-posted from Natter, but I won't spam elsewhere) If anyone wants a pussyhat (or any other small crocheted thing), a friend of mine is selling crocheted stuff. Zie has a leg injury, which means both a lot of time sitting down, and a lot of extra medical bills, and zie crochets really cool stuff, so if you want something, let me know, and I'll get you in touch. (Or, comment on my Facebook post where I posted about it.)

And now I am at Tom and Nora's and there is alcohol. So that's good.

Yay, that is very good. I myself am torn between doing the things I need to, this weekend, and wanting to spend the entire weekend in a cuddle puddle on a friend's couch with wine. Sigh.

I'm on a 3 hour conference call, and this speaker is waxing eloquent about Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and how it affected him as a teenager. Return to the subject at hand, sir, so we might be done with this by noon.

Ugghh, not shaking the cloud over my head. Still have tears just lurking, ready to spill even though I made it through the memorial without crying. I keep mixing up my FIL and Jim when my thoughts turn to the hurt. I've cried for both of them a bunch over the last month, so it isn't like I've been holding that back. I had hoped the memorial would give me some closure on the pain, but not so much. At least so far.

Work appears to be quiet today, which doesn't help. I'd rather be busy. I might be able to take the afternoon off and work on school assignments. I had something due yesterday and I just didn't get it done. I made the choice to submit it late and take the hit on my grade. But I still need to get that done today.

And all I really want to do is eat comfort food, crawl in bed, and watch guilty pleasure movies.