So work is.. hard but I knew it would be. I'm stressing because I don't think I'm understanding things but the problem is more, I think, that the manager is using jargon he understands but I'm taking it literally.

Also I suck at using the pallet jack when people are watching me.

So now I'm anxious I'll get fired. Or well they won't go further after the 60 days.

It also doesn't help the only other stocker is in his 20s and can move things around I can't and yesterday was singled out by the district manager because store leadership was praising him. I'm glad he is doing well but my inner critic is using that as proof I'm a loser.

On the other hand I've managed to handle several small anxiety attacks and even when I wanted to quit on the spot I didn't. I haven't said I have Asperger's but I think it might be a good idea to say "I tend to take things literally". Anyway tomorrow is a new day and a chance to improve

I have no more painkillers until Sunday. I hurt, a lot. Advil isn't doing anything. This will not be fun.

Oh Hil, have you looked into another physician type for pain management? Other than your PCP or joint doctor I mean. This could be anything from a pain management MD to acupuncturist, or some other option. There are a lot of different paths that people take for pain management, but if one path doesn't work another might.

My emotional situation is still pretty dicey. I've teared up for the support in b'crazy thread for opening the Good Riddance thread early. Seriously, I haven't been so weepy since I was pregnant, over 22 years ago! The teeth grinding thing is absurd too. At least that is better today because I got a filling yesterday and my jaw is sore from that and it is keeping me from grinding.

Laura, have you tried a mouthguard at night? I chew my way through one in my sleep about every three months, but even at that, it's better than the $200 lexan one my dentist made, which took me about four years to destroy. We get these at the drugstore, you boil and shape them to your mouth while they're hot. They're soft, and I honestly can't sleep without it. I wake myself up with jaw tension and teeth grinding without it.

It might be worth it to try one, at least short-term.

I use the $2 football mouthguards

I do use one at night, and sometimes during the day! I couldn't use it last night because my jaw was so uncomfortable from all the dentist abuse.

eta: the dentist is making me a new one, but not until all the current work is done.

I became the first injury at work. I cut my thumb with a box cutter. It bled a lot but seems to be ok now. I mean still cut but it doesn't hurt.

Speaking of dentists I'm calling my dentist about a tooth that is bothering me. I think it's just in my head...so to speak...but the anxiety is taking too much energy.

Hang in there, askye. I always mess up when being watched, too. Proud of you for managing your anxiety.

Hil, so sorry that you are in pain.

Love to all.

Oh Hil, have you looked into another physician type for pain management? Other than your PCP or joint doctor I mean. This could be anything from a pain management MD to acupuncturist, or some other option. There are a lot of different paths that people take for pain management, but if one path doesn't work another might.

I'm seeing the new rheumatologist in a couple weeks. I'll see if she recommends anything.

It will also help a lot that, next semester, all of my classes will be online. Online teaching isn't my favorite thing, but it means a whole lot less time on my feet, and being able to sleep late if I need to.

I had a lovely day out yesterday with my daughter and her bf, C. We went to a big craft fair at the Denver Convention center. Kelly and I have gone each year but somehow the vibe was different this year - not sure what it was, just off. I found a few goodies, but not my usual haul.

Then we had a great lunch out that included duck and fig pizza. OMG, delicious. At lunch I had mentioned a great restaurant/dessert place that we used to go to but that had moved and I had lost track of where it was now. Well, Kelly and C conspired together and we ended up there for some dessert. D Bar is the creation of Chef Keegan from the Food Network. Their new location is GREAT, lots of room - a full bar, tons more tables, and a larger dessert counter where you can enjoy your meal/dessert and watch the dessert chef at work.

We did 90% of our T-Day food shopping and then the kids went off to dog sit for the night. I was able to just relax, do some crafting, and have a nice quiet evening. I really needed a day like that.

Today - I have a paper due that I haven't started and need to participate in this week's school discussion. I also need to clean the house in prep for the maids and then prep the house for C's daughter who is coming Tuesday night. Plus I really need to do some budgeting.