Sadly, I know a lot of those feels, askye. Some of them come with hormones this week so I wish that meant I could feel all "don't you feel ridiculous?" but I can't because they don't go away all that often, you know?

sj, I have thoughts filled with crude language for your extended family.

askye, I am proud of you for sticking with group therapy, and for using the insights you gain to (hopefully) improve your nephew's life.

Incidentally, this is me, quietly freaking out about the fact that today is my last day of the old job. I have planned a tiny going-away party for myself. At supper I will make the announcement to the two people who live at the house. Due to one if them being on a strict diet, the feast will be white beans Provençal over spaghetti squash and Shasta baked apples. Also in a few minutes while I am still home I am going to attempt to connect by Facetime with one of them, so after I don't work there anymore, we can still keep in contact.

I hope the dinner was wonderful, WindSparrow.

I have been with the family all day. I came over to the other FL coast early this morning and am still here. I really want to get home at a decent hour, but that is unlikely apparently.

TCG's brother came over today. We had pizza and just hung out. ltc continued to not care what she stepped on as she ran about. So, she slipped on a book and gave herself a fat lip. There was a little blood and lots of tears.

slipped on a book? that is such a Buffista injury. Glad it is not too bad.

I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor this week to get back on an antidepressant. I've waited too long, and I have to be honest that my life is kind of barely functional.

I worry about the side effects, especially weight gain, but then I've been so non-functional for months that I've been eating my feelings and not exercising anyway, which I think is a bigger problem.

So. Fingers crossed that I can find something that works. If I do, I might just make it through the holidays after all. (I'm still going to keep seeing my therapist, because I think it's helping even though right now it suuuuuuucks. It's just not enough.)

I have my fingers crossed for you, Steph.

Poor ltc, I'm sorry that I am having a hard time not laughing about you getting a fat lip from a book.

Laura, that sounds like too much togetherness. I hope you get some rest.

I hope the dinner was wonderful, WindSparrow.

Thanks, it was. We were all sad, but the food was good, and we did the "do you remember when we...." thing. I managed to keep from crying until I was driving home.

I just want to say how impressed I always am with you, Andi. You have such wisdom, common sense, empathy and a great depth of caring--which is obvious in what you post about work and the advice you give so many of us on here.

Scrappy, thank you. It's good to be reminded that the ugly thoughts that go through my mind, the moments when the baser instincts win, the regretable things I have said, those bits that are on constant replay in my conscience - they are not the sole definition of me.