I went to grandma's and my aunts...well really it's my aunt for the weekly Friday pizza night. Every Friday they, my aunts "great friend" as Grandma E calls him (aka my aunt's boyfriend but she's 64 and he's 72 and it seems weird to say boyfriend ) and whatever family member decides to drop by eat pizza and watch either BBC cozy mysteries or bad Sci fi.

And then I spent the night and spent longer talking than I planned. I'm back at the beach cottage in the ax with my tiny view of the water. When it gets closet to sunset I'll venture out for a walk. The heat index is over 100.

Oh damn it. 4 cars of people jusr arrived. One set if relatives built a fancy place and rents it out because the taxes are so expensive. Well it's the weekend hopefully they'll be quietish.

Ever kind of feel like you're #OutOfIdeas?(not story ideas, FWIW I have a lot of those, and the rejections to remind me how well that's not going, overall.) I like activism, but the kind I do is not the sort of stuff that anyone is going to write an oral history of...there's no Bletchley for phone number finders(Not that I want to be famous...just to make some kind of mark.) Just like I wish I were making money, but not really because of buying anything, although it's not like I *wouldn't*, but I'm not, I don't know, saving up for a car.(we could use more cash but my wanting it is not really about keeping the wolf from the door and shit like that. Not right now anyway, although hell yeah, I'd love to know I could do it) I meant lifewise, though. Everything I can think of is like something I tried already.And there's no partner and kids to be like "THIS is what's Really Important(TM) and if I tried that with the cats, they'd run away.) Forty more years of "retirement" is suddenly striking me a bit excessive, is all. Though I know I'll be lucky to have that, and that some of you might wish you could have such problems.

Our BFFs (a couple), who are having a tiny casual backyard wedding in August, asked us if we would officiate!!!

!!!!!!!!!!

I have no idea what to do, but, you know, I got married and my brother officiated, so I think I can do this. So so SO AWESOME.

And then, as is our way, the conversation (via text) degenerated into insults that ended with me proclaiming (in all caps) "I AM EASYGOING AS HELL" (which is perhaps the biggest lie on the planet) (which, duh, our friends know because they've spent more than 30 seconds with me).

That is super exciting, Steph!!! What an honor.

Teppy, that's fantastic! Are these the kind of friends who would accept you throwing some Marvel references into the ceremony?

"May the strength of your love be as strong as Captain America's arms. The depth of your love as deep as Tony and Bruce's. The supportiveness of your love quietly there at all times, like Agent Coulson.

I am in the bathroom of a restaurant shaking with anger and disgust while my inlaws spew intolerance and hate. I can't take it. I couldn't keep my mouth shut this time. And I won't keep my mouth shut now that I'm a mother. I won't let my daughter grow up thinking that type of thing is acceptable.

Ugh, sj. You definitely have our support, and not just the lurkers.

Oh sj, I am so sorry. Our divisions keep getting deeper and it makes it intolerable to be with too many of my family and friends. My cousin sent me a bunch of text his mother sent him that were so vile and hateful, cursing him every sentence, all because he posted one tame picture on his wall on FB on gun control. She still rants at him for voting for Obama and now is furious that he supports killery. My heart breaks for him because he will almost surely have to move because it is such a hateful environment.

I am short on solutions to these divisions. I may have to dig up Nilly's wise post after the Bush win that upset so many of us. There seems to be a zero possibility of a Trump win, but the months to come are going to be really harder than I anticipated. So many what I otherwise consider sane people love Trump and his "real talk", and even my brilliant son supports BREXIT because that is part of the revolution of people taking back control from those invisible types that pull all the strings.

So depressing. Saving my positive stuff I was coming here to post for a separate post that it needs.