The AC guy called at 630 this morning..well he called dad saying he'd be here a d 11 hours later no word.

On top of that something weird is going on with a toenail and I tried to to the walk in care but they were out if appointments, seemed confused by me being out of state, and this other employee came around while I was trying to explain why I was fighting back tears and I lost it and yelled at them for being useless and left.

Which was horrible but there is the heaat, the waiting for the phone call, I can't feel comfortable because dad is doing chores and moving around and I just wanted time alone. And I didn't get that and even if this guy says ph yeah I'll be there tomorrow there its not a sure thing based on today AND it's another day of dad killing time until he shows up.

Mostly I want to blast the Hamilton soundtrack but I don't think Dad will like it.

{{{askye}}}

Ugh. I just got home after going out for two hours and ltc didn't nap while I was gone because she wouldn't stop crying. I came in put the ceiling fan on in her room and she went right out, but she should have napped an hour and a half ago. No one called me to tell me she wasn't sleeping. I hate this feeling that I can't go anywhere because no one will do things "right" while I'm gone.

ltc is finally asleep for the night.

I'm feeling both really lonely and really antisocial right now. I'm not sure what the solution is for that. Or if there is a solution.

peace to you askye

and sj too

Jonathan does have chronic low level pancreatitis, whihc is expect - mostly it is change food, and stuff for whn he isn't feeling well. - but I just didn't ec=xpect the near panic - not because of him but because it brought back so many memeories. Happily it was a friends birthday last night - and today was work ,mellow dinner and a cat that is suddenly behaving more like a kitten and lovebug

beth, I get why it would be hard to deal with multiple trips to the vet for Jonathan after all you went through last year.

sj, I hope you can de-stress. Parenting is hard enough.

askye, florida summer with no AC is no joke, definitely the opposite of peace and tranquility. To have such a weird thing going on with a toenail that you wanted medical attention for it but couldn't get it just adds another level of suckitude.

I hope you can get ac and medical care soon, askye. And your baby will eventually get to the point where she can say, "Yo, caretaker, make with the fan already," sj.

Hil, those are great summer plans! I hope you enjoy them. I did some voter registration at Pride around here one year. It was a blast. What sort of training does refugee resettlement require? It sounds tremendously useful. The whole thing is probably pretty complex.

Beth if course your stressed out it's a traumatic thing.

sj I'm sorry ltc just needed the fan on and no one realized and that you are feeling so isolated.

Yay Hil fir volunteering.

So I'm feeling better today. The only thing that would make this great would be if Penny were here. I miss my kitty.

I also realized that I was stressed out and feeling so out of control and trying to grab some control I fixated on my toe and lost it when I couldn't even handle that. But it doesn't really hurt and I can always drive to Tallahassee if I need to. The ac guy came, Dad bribed him.Seriously he paid the guy extra in cash.

Finally at nearly 9 pm dad left.

It's beautiful outside but hot. But dad has new deck chairs and there are outside outlets so at some point I'm dragging a fan outside and sitting in the shade and reading.

Thanks guys. It's not just that no one realized. It's that no one called me. So I could have said does she have her sleep sack on? Do you have the fan on? Okay then check her diaper and try to put her down again.

I don't feel comfortable leaving her if people aren't going to call me if she's having a problem.

I didn't sleep well last night. So ltc is down for hopefully a long nap, and I'm going to take one too. Though I feel like I should be doing the laundry or exercising or even reading a book.

sj, I'm sorry. I'd choose nap (I almost always choose nap, though). And I wish I had advice, but Peanut has only been left with someone else once (my mom), and that was only for 3 hours in January so we could go see Star Wars. My mom also failed to get her down for a nap at that time. So, my sympathies.

I haven't seen a movie in the theater since I was 7 months pregnant. I pretty much just do errands here in town when I go out. Yesterday was the longest I have been away from ltc, 2 hours because I ran into someone interesting at the library and lost track of time. Then I get home and feel guilty because she's miserable and her schedule is fucked for the rest of the day. I almost always choose nap too, but I feel bad about it.