Okay, I think I can officially say that this shithole of a year has finally gotten to me. All week, I just can't stop crying, and my IBS is the worst it's been in years (I almost went to Urgent Care earlier, but then it calmed down).

And the thing is, I'm sure it would probably be helpful to go see a therapist, except I think I'm having a perfectly normal reaction to 6 months of people dying and goddamn politics and my brother's relapse (which was SO fucking scary, you guys, I had no business trying to help him without medical intervention) and Tim getting diagnosed with an autoimmune disease (because those things are forever) and the $2000 treatment could give him cancer if we can even get it covered and my favorite kitty died and my iPod keeps playing Prince and David Bowie when I take walks and I don't appreciate that AT ALL, iPod.

If I still feel this way in a couple of weeks, I'll look for a therapist. Promise. I think my brain is just completely flipping out right now because it can't take one more sad dog post on Facebook.

And good things are happening, too -- friends are engaged, friends and family have had babies and bought houses, work is going well, vacation is coming up, I actually still think Clinton will win in November, the Deadpool DVD got delivered today, my brother got sober again and is doing really well so far AND they're coming home to visit in about a week. My life is not uniformly lousy by any means. But the shitty stuff just all caught up with me this week.

I don't need hugs or anything; I just wanted to say it all out loud (or, you know, textually) because it's a giant pile of bullshit and I'd like to be past it, not in it.

Is there anything we can do, Teppy?

No, I think I just wanted to get it all out.

I feel like I'm being a big baby and overreacting, until I actually SAY it all. And then I'm like, NOPE, this is a pretty normal reaction.

Teppy, it may be a perfectly normal reaction, but it's still a lot.

No hugs. But I hear you.

I'm feeling furious with myself that events in comic books are upsetting me so much, but adding self-scolding on top of real upset is not productive. The feelings are real no matter what inspires them.

Perfectly normal response...that's science talking.

Bless you, Steph. I'll stand in silent, vigilant certainty that you are doing it right, even when it feels the total opposite of that.

That sounds like a totally normal reaction, Steph. You've got a lot of stuff going on.

Steph, you can only pull up your socks (tm Ginger) so many times till you really have to admit that, yeah, that's a lot. And you're entitled to acknowledge that.

It is a normal reaction, but I don't think that means it's not worth seeing a therapist about if you think it would help. I can understand that it's just one more thing to think about and deal with, but just because you know why you're upset doesn't mean you have to deal with it by yourself.