Stop eating plastic you furry idiot.

Yeah, that happens with kids too (not mine but that was just luck). Thank goodness they eventually outgrow being toddlers.

I suspect it's much the same with kids. So cute when they're asleep!

It is, that's why I still go in and admire them every morning.

But when it gets too much, I can lock 'em in the bathroom for an hour or six. I'm told that's frowned upon with kids.

Psht. Mom locked us out of the house when we were kids all the time.

Well, only once that I actually remember, and we were driving her nuts and it was the summertime and we had a pool, so we weren't going to die of heatstroke.

...or is that another holy-shit-your-family-is-effed-up moment that I didn't realize other families didn't do? (See also: driving your kids anywhere with a beer in a to-go cup because you just can't stop drinking long enough to take your kids somewhere. I seriously didn't realize other parents didn't do this until I was in college.)

We weren't locked out, cuz we didn't lock the house except at night, but there were plenty of days we were shoved out the door and told not to return until the streetlights came on.

Stop eating plastic you furry idiot.

Yeah, that happens with kids too (not mine but that was just luck). Thank goodness they eventually outgrow being toddlers.

ltc loves plastic or anything else she can get in her mouth.

So, according to the fitbit, between getting up to feed ltc, and general insomnia/pain keeping me from sleeping, I'm averaging about 5 hours of sleep a night. I guess now I know why I'm tired all the time.

Mom would just banish me to my room or play room until she could deal with me again. I was pretty good at entertaining myself as an only child.

we were shoved out the door and told not to return until the streetlights came on.

We lived in the country, we were told to take the dog and go explore till we got hungry.

This all makes me feel better. Whew!

That's where all the stories of kids having adventures come from, Mom throwing them out of the house for the day.

Sending kids outside to play is a classic.

Here's my family's crazy: When we were young enough that a visit to the beach meant bringing back half of it in our swimsuits, my mom wouldn't even let us enter the house until we'd gone into the backyard, stripped off our swimsuits, and gotten hosed off. Suits went straight into the washing machine and kids went one by one straight into the shower to wash off.

Nowadays someone would shriek that you're pandering to the neighborhood pedophile and call Child Services on you.